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It was a peaceful sunny day in the city of Damascus and Thaddeus was home, surprisingly. Usually, he’d be out socializing, taking long walks in nature around Judea appreciating the beauty, or doing some work. He, however, had one of their servants, a pretty servant girl, bring him some berries as a snack. He wanted to hang around his older brother, realizing they haven’t really spent some time together in a while, and this was the perfect day to do so. Glancing over at the servant once last time, Thad strolled over to Amiti’s study, berries gently resting in the Courtier’s hand. He grinned as he arrived at Amiti’s door, and lightly tapped the wood of the door with his knuckles. He knocked harder again, before simply opening the door without waiting for a welcome. The knock was simply a courtesy to let his brother know he was coming. “Amiti!” His voice was bright and gleeful as if he hadn’t seen his brother in weeks. He took some berries from his hand and offered them to the other man. “Would you like some?”
Thaddeus tossed a berry into his mouth before taking a seat, fully aware he was invading his brother’s study but not really giving a care. “Yahweh has given us a beautiful day today, hasn’t he?” Thaddeus commented, before smiling wider. “How have you been a brother? How’s politics?” Thaddeus smiled, knowing it was a subject Amiti could talk for hours about it. Which is what he wanted, because then his brother wouldn’t kick him out for bothering him. He tossed some more berries in his mouth, taking a quick glance around the room. He didn’t usually come into his brother’s study, at least not for a long period of time, and wondered how often Amiti got new books. Suddenly he looked over to Amiti with a blank expression, meaning he was in deep thought. “Amiti, do you ever wonder what Mother would think of us now?” Thaddeus blurted out suddenly.
Tag: @amiti
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This character is currently a work in progress.
Check out their information page here.
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It was a peaceful sunny day in the city of Damascus and Thaddeus was home, surprisingly. Usually, he’d be out socializing, taking long walks in nature around Judea appreciating the beauty, or doing some work. He, however, had one of their servants, a pretty servant girl, bring him some berries as a snack. He wanted to hang around his older brother, realizing they haven’t really spent some time together in a while, and this was the perfect day to do so. Glancing over at the servant once last time, Thad strolled over to Amiti’s study, berries gently resting in the Courtier’s hand. He grinned as he arrived at Amiti’s door, and lightly tapped the wood of the door with his knuckles. He knocked harder again, before simply opening the door without waiting for a welcome. The knock was simply a courtesy to let his brother know he was coming. “Amiti!” His voice was bright and gleeful as if he hadn’t seen his brother in weeks. He took some berries from his hand and offered them to the other man. “Would you like some?”
Thaddeus tossed a berry into his mouth before taking a seat, fully aware he was invading his brother’s study but not really giving a care. “Yahweh has given us a beautiful day today, hasn’t he?” Thaddeus commented, before smiling wider. “How have you been a brother? How’s politics?” Thaddeus smiled, knowing it was a subject Amiti could talk for hours about it. Which is what he wanted, because then his brother wouldn’t kick him out for bothering him. He tossed some more berries in his mouth, taking a quick glance around the room. He didn’t usually come into his brother’s study, at least not for a long period of time, and wondered how often Amiti got new books. Suddenly he looked over to Amiti with a blank expression, meaning he was in deep thought. “Amiti, do you ever wonder what Mother would think of us now?” Thaddeus blurted out suddenly.
Tag: @amiti
It was a peaceful sunny day in the city of Damascus and Thaddeus was home, surprisingly. Usually, he’d be out socializing, taking long walks in nature around Judea appreciating the beauty, or doing some work. He, however, had one of their servants, a pretty servant girl, bring him some berries as a snack. He wanted to hang around his older brother, realizing they haven’t really spent some time together in a while, and this was the perfect day to do so. Glancing over at the servant once last time, Thad strolled over to Amiti’s study, berries gently resting in the Courtier’s hand. He grinned as he arrived at Amiti’s door, and lightly tapped the wood of the door with his knuckles. He knocked harder again, before simply opening the door without waiting for a welcome. The knock was simply a courtesy to let his brother know he was coming. “Amiti!” His voice was bright and gleeful as if he hadn’t seen his brother in weeks. He took some berries from his hand and offered them to the other man. “Would you like some?”
Thaddeus tossed a berry into his mouth before taking a seat, fully aware he was invading his brother’s study but not really giving a care. “Yahweh has given us a beautiful day today, hasn’t he?” Thaddeus commented, before smiling wider. “How have you been a brother? How’s politics?” Thaddeus smiled, knowing it was a subject Amiti could talk for hours about it. Which is what he wanted, because then his brother wouldn’t kick him out for bothering him. He tossed some more berries in his mouth, taking a quick glance around the room. He didn’t usually come into his brother’s study, at least not for a long period of time, and wondered how often Amiti got new books. Suddenly he looked over to Amiti with a blank expression, meaning he was in deep thought. “Amiti, do you ever wonder what Mother would think of us now?” Thaddeus blurted out suddenly.
Tag: @amiti
He’d noticed the gorgeous day outside. It was why he had the windows flung open and the curtains pushed aside, to let the natural flow of light fill the study with a blazing glow. Sitting at his desk, he was using a rather ornate silver pointer as he read the scroll in front of him. The pointer was one that had been in the family since their great, great, grandfather’s time. It was used to keep place on the page, as Hebrew tended not to have good stopping points in the text. It was also a way to preserve the pages so that they did not need to be touched overly much.
So deep into reading was he, that he didn’t react immediately to the first knock his brother made. There wasn’t time to react to the second because by the time he looked up, Thaddeus was strolling into the room, offering berries and proclaiming it a good morning. Amiti’s eyes widened and he looked down at the rug that his bare feet were on. Thaddeus was eating in this room. This room! Of all rooms!
Standing, he laid the pointer down on the page to keep his place, and came around the desk, looking pointedly at the berries in his brother’s palm. “Must you do that in here?” he asked, emphasising the word ‘here’.
To Thaddeus’s question of how he was and how politics were going, Amiti gave him a look. “If you’re going to eat, don’t eat over the rug.” With that, he forced Thaddeus off the rug and looked down to make sure his brother was also in bare feet. It was unlikely he wouldn’t have been, but one could never be sure with Thaddeus. He was such a free spirit.
Thaddeus’s plan of talking politics was a flawed one, at least today. Amiti wasn’t in the mood to discuss it at the moment. There wasn’t anything interesting going on, good or bad. The only thing he was going to war with the council about was the uneven portion of the road outside of their home but there was only so much one could say about paving stones. The city, for good or ill, had been behaving itself. None of the other senators were involved in scandal or anything particularly good. Everything was smooth sailing, which made for a dull conversation.
He was on the point of tossing Thaddeus back out of the study, when his brother dropped the one subject on him that made him falter.
“Mother?” his nostrils flared. “I imagine she’d be heartily ashamed that her absence has made so little difference to us turning out so well.” It was certainly no thanks to her that he was successful, that Thaddeus and Shiloh were obviously going to be fine young men. Amiti didn’t know about his brother’s dalliances with women. If he had, they’d have been having an entirely different conversation.
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He’d noticed the gorgeous day outside. It was why he had the windows flung open and the curtains pushed aside, to let the natural flow of light fill the study with a blazing glow. Sitting at his desk, he was using a rather ornate silver pointer as he read the scroll in front of him. The pointer was one that had been in the family since their great, great, grandfather’s time. It was used to keep place on the page, as Hebrew tended not to have good stopping points in the text. It was also a way to preserve the pages so that they did not need to be touched overly much.
So deep into reading was he, that he didn’t react immediately to the first knock his brother made. There wasn’t time to react to the second because by the time he looked up, Thaddeus was strolling into the room, offering berries and proclaiming it a good morning. Amiti’s eyes widened and he looked down at the rug that his bare feet were on. Thaddeus was eating in this room. This room! Of all rooms!
Standing, he laid the pointer down on the page to keep his place, and came around the desk, looking pointedly at the berries in his brother’s palm. “Must you do that in here?” he asked, emphasising the word ‘here’.
To Thaddeus’s question of how he was and how politics were going, Amiti gave him a look. “If you’re going to eat, don’t eat over the rug.” With that, he forced Thaddeus off the rug and looked down to make sure his brother was also in bare feet. It was unlikely he wouldn’t have been, but one could never be sure with Thaddeus. He was such a free spirit.
Thaddeus’s plan of talking politics was a flawed one, at least today. Amiti wasn’t in the mood to discuss it at the moment. There wasn’t anything interesting going on, good or bad. The only thing he was going to war with the council about was the uneven portion of the road outside of their home but there was only so much one could say about paving stones. The city, for good or ill, had been behaving itself. None of the other senators were involved in scandal or anything particularly good. Everything was smooth sailing, which made for a dull conversation.
He was on the point of tossing Thaddeus back out of the study, when his brother dropped the one subject on him that made him falter.
“Mother?” his nostrils flared. “I imagine she’d be heartily ashamed that her absence has made so little difference to us turning out so well.” It was certainly no thanks to her that he was successful, that Thaddeus and Shiloh were obviously going to be fine young men. Amiti didn’t know about his brother’s dalliances with women. If he had, they’d have been having an entirely different conversation.
He’d noticed the gorgeous day outside. It was why he had the windows flung open and the curtains pushed aside, to let the natural flow of light fill the study with a blazing glow. Sitting at his desk, he was using a rather ornate silver pointer as he read the scroll in front of him. The pointer was one that had been in the family since their great, great, grandfather’s time. It was used to keep place on the page, as Hebrew tended not to have good stopping points in the text. It was also a way to preserve the pages so that they did not need to be touched overly much.
So deep into reading was he, that he didn’t react immediately to the first knock his brother made. There wasn’t time to react to the second because by the time he looked up, Thaddeus was strolling into the room, offering berries and proclaiming it a good morning. Amiti’s eyes widened and he looked down at the rug that his bare feet were on. Thaddeus was eating in this room. This room! Of all rooms!
Standing, he laid the pointer down on the page to keep his place, and came around the desk, looking pointedly at the berries in his brother’s palm. “Must you do that in here?” he asked, emphasising the word ‘here’.
To Thaddeus’s question of how he was and how politics were going, Amiti gave him a look. “If you’re going to eat, don’t eat over the rug.” With that, he forced Thaddeus off the rug and looked down to make sure his brother was also in bare feet. It was unlikely he wouldn’t have been, but one could never be sure with Thaddeus. He was such a free spirit.
Thaddeus’s plan of talking politics was a flawed one, at least today. Amiti wasn’t in the mood to discuss it at the moment. There wasn’t anything interesting going on, good or bad. The only thing he was going to war with the council about was the uneven portion of the road outside of their home but there was only so much one could say about paving stones. The city, for good or ill, had been behaving itself. None of the other senators were involved in scandal or anything particularly good. Everything was smooth sailing, which made for a dull conversation.
He was on the point of tossing Thaddeus back out of the study, when his brother dropped the one subject on him that made him falter.
“Mother?” his nostrils flared. “I imagine she’d be heartily ashamed that her absence has made so little difference to us turning out so well.” It was certainly no thanks to her that he was successful, that Thaddeus and Shiloh were obviously going to be fine young men. Amiti didn’t know about his brother’s dalliances with women. If he had, they’d have been having an entirely different conversation.
Thaddeus liked to be around Amiti- he loved his brother, and he liked listening to him speak. Not that it was tough for Thad not to like someone… However, his family would always have a special place in his heart. So while it was a gorgeous day, Thad was home and, well, planning to spend time with his older sibling. His plans, of course, did not involve telling Amiti he was going to hang around him for some time, but in his mind, it was not like he needed to make some appointment. He knocked on the door to his brother’s study as a courtesy, but did not wait for a response nor gave enough time for one. He had berries in his hand due to his hunger and cheerfully offered Amiti a good morning. He continued smiling and did not even notice his brother’s eyes widening at what he had in his hand. Thaddeus frowned at the response he got.
“I didn’t know to eat in your study was forbidden! I was hungry.” He spoke with a slight sadness, eating a berry without even missing a beat. He sighed as Amiti continued to complain about the berries, and he let himself be forced off the rug. It wasn’t like he was purposely going to ruin it… He tossed more berries against his tongue, looking around the room for a moment. Amiti was clean and comfortable… maybe he should come in more often? If he only had the time… He tried to talk politics, but Amiti isn't receiving it well. Thaddeus started to think more and brought up their mother. He thought about her quite about, but he didn’t remember the last time he had spoken about her to his brother… or even Shiloh. “You think so?” Would she be ashamed? Would she be disappointed in herself? That would mean that she had been invested in them once. He had his doubts.
“Amiti….” His voice suddenly got even more severe, his childlike gleam in his eyes suddenly gone. “Did she ever love us?” His voice was smooth yet filled with sorrow. “Like, really love us?” Not that it mattered- they had God’s love, and that is enough. However,…. it was a reasonable question. “Because if… if the answer is yes, do you think she will ever try to come back? Ask for forgiveness?” Not that he would ever let her back into his life, but… there would be an effort, at least.
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Thaddeus liked to be around Amiti- he loved his brother, and he liked listening to him speak. Not that it was tough for Thad not to like someone… However, his family would always have a special place in his heart. So while it was a gorgeous day, Thad was home and, well, planning to spend time with his older sibling. His plans, of course, did not involve telling Amiti he was going to hang around him for some time, but in his mind, it was not like he needed to make some appointment. He knocked on the door to his brother’s study as a courtesy, but did not wait for a response nor gave enough time for one. He had berries in his hand due to his hunger and cheerfully offered Amiti a good morning. He continued smiling and did not even notice his brother’s eyes widening at what he had in his hand. Thaddeus frowned at the response he got.
“I didn’t know to eat in your study was forbidden! I was hungry.” He spoke with a slight sadness, eating a berry without even missing a beat. He sighed as Amiti continued to complain about the berries, and he let himself be forced off the rug. It wasn’t like he was purposely going to ruin it… He tossed more berries against his tongue, looking around the room for a moment. Amiti was clean and comfortable… maybe he should come in more often? If he only had the time… He tried to talk politics, but Amiti isn't receiving it well. Thaddeus started to think more and brought up their mother. He thought about her quite about, but he didn’t remember the last time he had spoken about her to his brother… or even Shiloh. “You think so?” Would she be ashamed? Would she be disappointed in herself? That would mean that she had been invested in them once. He had his doubts.
“Amiti….” His voice suddenly got even more severe, his childlike gleam in his eyes suddenly gone. “Did she ever love us?” His voice was smooth yet filled with sorrow. “Like, really love us?” Not that it mattered- they had God’s love, and that is enough. However,…. it was a reasonable question. “Because if… if the answer is yes, do you think she will ever try to come back? Ask for forgiveness?” Not that he would ever let her back into his life, but… there would be an effort, at least.
Thaddeus liked to be around Amiti- he loved his brother, and he liked listening to him speak. Not that it was tough for Thad not to like someone… However, his family would always have a special place in his heart. So while it was a gorgeous day, Thad was home and, well, planning to spend time with his older sibling. His plans, of course, did not involve telling Amiti he was going to hang around him for some time, but in his mind, it was not like he needed to make some appointment. He knocked on the door to his brother’s study as a courtesy, but did not wait for a response nor gave enough time for one. He had berries in his hand due to his hunger and cheerfully offered Amiti a good morning. He continued smiling and did not even notice his brother’s eyes widening at what he had in his hand. Thaddeus frowned at the response he got.
“I didn’t know to eat in your study was forbidden! I was hungry.” He spoke with a slight sadness, eating a berry without even missing a beat. He sighed as Amiti continued to complain about the berries, and he let himself be forced off the rug. It wasn’t like he was purposely going to ruin it… He tossed more berries against his tongue, looking around the room for a moment. Amiti was clean and comfortable… maybe he should come in more often? If he only had the time… He tried to talk politics, but Amiti isn't receiving it well. Thaddeus started to think more and brought up their mother. He thought about her quite about, but he didn’t remember the last time he had spoken about her to his brother… or even Shiloh. “You think so?” Would she be ashamed? Would she be disappointed in herself? That would mean that she had been invested in them once. He had his doubts.
“Amiti….” His voice suddenly got even more severe, his childlike gleam in his eyes suddenly gone. “Did she ever love us?” His voice was smooth yet filled with sorrow. “Like, really love us?” Not that it mattered- they had God’s love, and that is enough. However,…. it was a reasonable question. “Because if… if the answer is yes, do you think she will ever try to come back? Ask for forgiveness?” Not that he would ever let her back into his life, but… there would be an effort, at least.
“I didn’t know to eat in your study was forbidden! I was hungry.”
Amiti didn’t believe a word of that. Especially when Thaddeus put another berry in his mouth whilst speaking. Of course, Amiti would rather the berries be eaten and gone, than dropped and ground into the rug. He loved his brother, but there were times when he was positive this was leftover needling from childhood. No siblings got along all of the time and he and Thaddeus were no exception, though, after their mother left, they’d grown closer and fought a lot less. That tended to happen during stages of grief.
“You think so?” Thaddeus asked, looking blatantly unsure about Amiti’s declaration that their mother would be ashamed.
“If she wouldn’t be, she should be,” Amiti said with a little more heat than he should have. Taking a moment, he purposefully breathed in deeply a few times, flattening his palms against the desk, and closed his eyes. It wasn’t Thaddeus’s fault. It wasn’t nice or seemly to be picking a fight with someone who didn’t deserve it. Fair was fair. For Thaddeus’s sake, Amiti decided that he would attempt to be kinder. The mere mention of their whore of a mother stirred in Amiti such deep feelings of shame and insecurity. He felt tainted just by being born from her. Like her sin transferred to all of them and if he could be good enough, if he could force his brothers to be good enough, they’d be rid of her transgressions.
“Amiti….” the way Thaddeus’s voice suddenly grew serious made Amiti open his eyes and quirk his brows at his brother. It was rare that the other man was so ardent and any time he was, Amiti listened. “Did she ever love us?”
The question caught him off guard and he wasn’t entirely sure that he wanted to answer that question. He let the question sit between them for a few seconds, but Thaddeus was relentless in his need for some sort of opinion. “Like, really love us?”
Amiti closed his eyes again against a million memories of his mother being kind. She would be sure to make sure the meals consisted of things that her boys liked. She’d tuck them in at night. Her voice had been soft and sweet and melodic as she told them the old stories and taught them their prayers. It was from her that they’d learned to read and at her knee that they had learned to be considerate and kind. Things he didn’t like or want to remember.
“Because if… if the answer is yes, do you think she will ever try to come back? Ask for forgiveness?”
“She better not,” his sharp words pierced the air between them, shattering the thoughts that had momentarily overcome him. “Why-” he attempted for a softer tone and clasped his hands together so that he could remain calm. “Why are you asking these things? Father has been...enough….” But he hadn’t been. Their father, good man that he was, had turned paranoid and ill tempered.
“I try not to think of her,” Amiti said after a moment. “She taints this house even now.”
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“I didn’t know to eat in your study was forbidden! I was hungry.”
Amiti didn’t believe a word of that. Especially when Thaddeus put another berry in his mouth whilst speaking. Of course, Amiti would rather the berries be eaten and gone, than dropped and ground into the rug. He loved his brother, but there were times when he was positive this was leftover needling from childhood. No siblings got along all of the time and he and Thaddeus were no exception, though, after their mother left, they’d grown closer and fought a lot less. That tended to happen during stages of grief.
“You think so?” Thaddeus asked, looking blatantly unsure about Amiti’s declaration that their mother would be ashamed.
“If she wouldn’t be, she should be,” Amiti said with a little more heat than he should have. Taking a moment, he purposefully breathed in deeply a few times, flattening his palms against the desk, and closed his eyes. It wasn’t Thaddeus’s fault. It wasn’t nice or seemly to be picking a fight with someone who didn’t deserve it. Fair was fair. For Thaddeus’s sake, Amiti decided that he would attempt to be kinder. The mere mention of their whore of a mother stirred in Amiti such deep feelings of shame and insecurity. He felt tainted just by being born from her. Like her sin transferred to all of them and if he could be good enough, if he could force his brothers to be good enough, they’d be rid of her transgressions.
“Amiti….” the way Thaddeus’s voice suddenly grew serious made Amiti open his eyes and quirk his brows at his brother. It was rare that the other man was so ardent and any time he was, Amiti listened. “Did she ever love us?”
The question caught him off guard and he wasn’t entirely sure that he wanted to answer that question. He let the question sit between them for a few seconds, but Thaddeus was relentless in his need for some sort of opinion. “Like, really love us?”
Amiti closed his eyes again against a million memories of his mother being kind. She would be sure to make sure the meals consisted of things that her boys liked. She’d tuck them in at night. Her voice had been soft and sweet and melodic as she told them the old stories and taught them their prayers. It was from her that they’d learned to read and at her knee that they had learned to be considerate and kind. Things he didn’t like or want to remember.
“Because if… if the answer is yes, do you think she will ever try to come back? Ask for forgiveness?”
“She better not,” his sharp words pierced the air between them, shattering the thoughts that had momentarily overcome him. “Why-” he attempted for a softer tone and clasped his hands together so that he could remain calm. “Why are you asking these things? Father has been...enough….” But he hadn’t been. Their father, good man that he was, had turned paranoid and ill tempered.
“I try not to think of her,” Amiti said after a moment. “She taints this house even now.”
“I didn’t know to eat in your study was forbidden! I was hungry.”
Amiti didn’t believe a word of that. Especially when Thaddeus put another berry in his mouth whilst speaking. Of course, Amiti would rather the berries be eaten and gone, than dropped and ground into the rug. He loved his brother, but there were times when he was positive this was leftover needling from childhood. No siblings got along all of the time and he and Thaddeus were no exception, though, after their mother left, they’d grown closer and fought a lot less. That tended to happen during stages of grief.
“You think so?” Thaddeus asked, looking blatantly unsure about Amiti’s declaration that their mother would be ashamed.
“If she wouldn’t be, she should be,” Amiti said with a little more heat than he should have. Taking a moment, he purposefully breathed in deeply a few times, flattening his palms against the desk, and closed his eyes. It wasn’t Thaddeus’s fault. It wasn’t nice or seemly to be picking a fight with someone who didn’t deserve it. Fair was fair. For Thaddeus’s sake, Amiti decided that he would attempt to be kinder. The mere mention of their whore of a mother stirred in Amiti such deep feelings of shame and insecurity. He felt tainted just by being born from her. Like her sin transferred to all of them and if he could be good enough, if he could force his brothers to be good enough, they’d be rid of her transgressions.
“Amiti….” the way Thaddeus’s voice suddenly grew serious made Amiti open his eyes and quirk his brows at his brother. It was rare that the other man was so ardent and any time he was, Amiti listened. “Did she ever love us?”
The question caught him off guard and he wasn’t entirely sure that he wanted to answer that question. He let the question sit between them for a few seconds, but Thaddeus was relentless in his need for some sort of opinion. “Like, really love us?”
Amiti closed his eyes again against a million memories of his mother being kind. She would be sure to make sure the meals consisted of things that her boys liked. She’d tuck them in at night. Her voice had been soft and sweet and melodic as she told them the old stories and taught them their prayers. It was from her that they’d learned to read and at her knee that they had learned to be considerate and kind. Things he didn’t like or want to remember.
“Because if… if the answer is yes, do you think she will ever try to come back? Ask for forgiveness?”
“She better not,” his sharp words pierced the air between them, shattering the thoughts that had momentarily overcome him. “Why-” he attempted for a softer tone and clasped his hands together so that he could remain calm. “Why are you asking these things? Father has been...enough….” But he hadn’t been. Their father, good man that he was, had turned paranoid and ill tempered.
“I try not to think of her,” Amiti said after a moment. “She taints this house even now.”
Thaddeus frowned quietly, waiting for his oldest brother’s response. Talking and thinking about their mother always made him feel dispirited, but… talking to Amiti always helped. Thaddeus always had admired his brother- he made sure the family had everything they needed, made sure they had honor, made sure everything was in order… but the one thing Amiti couldn’t fix, was the broken relationship between their mother. He held the good memories close, but somehow it just had gotten to the point of missing his mom. He was very young when she left. And now that he was older, he still felt like something- someone, was missing. Thaddeus grew serious- almost out of character serious, for a question that he really wanted an answer to. It was essential. He waited for Amiti’s answer, leaning slightly forward. He reached up and ran his fingers slowly through his own hair, before shifting his eyes to the ground without making a single noise.
Finally his brother spoke up, and Thaddeus narrowed his eyes. “What?” He said quietly, not sure if he had heard his brother right. Thoughts were whirling through his head, he couldn’t believe… “Of course father has been enough! I am not saying….” He felt like his heart was hurting, and he felt like he was a child again. This time, though, he was angry with his brother. “How could you not forgive mother! I would. I would welcome her in!” He stated firmly, before standing up straight. “All she did was abandon us, that’s all.” He, of course, did not know the real reason that they didn’t have their mother any more. He had not been privy to that information, since he had been too young at the time.
“She’s our mother. I miss her. Why don’t you?” It was part of the anger, part wonder. Thaddeus hadn’t moved on. It seemed like Amiti did, and he wanted to know why…. And also how. Maybe things wouldn’t hurt so much if he had moved on like Amiti… but he just didn’t know how to. Their mother had no idea how her absence affected the family, affected him. He did miss her. She was the one that took them to church, comforted them, tucked them in. How could he not miss her? He folded his arms across his chest. “What do you mean by mother tainting the house?”
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Thaddeus frowned quietly, waiting for his oldest brother’s response. Talking and thinking about their mother always made him feel dispirited, but… talking to Amiti always helped. Thaddeus always had admired his brother- he made sure the family had everything they needed, made sure they had honor, made sure everything was in order… but the one thing Amiti couldn’t fix, was the broken relationship between their mother. He held the good memories close, but somehow it just had gotten to the point of missing his mom. He was very young when she left. And now that he was older, he still felt like something- someone, was missing. Thaddeus grew serious- almost out of character serious, for a question that he really wanted an answer to. It was essential. He waited for Amiti’s answer, leaning slightly forward. He reached up and ran his fingers slowly through his own hair, before shifting his eyes to the ground without making a single noise.
Finally his brother spoke up, and Thaddeus narrowed his eyes. “What?” He said quietly, not sure if he had heard his brother right. Thoughts were whirling through his head, he couldn’t believe… “Of course father has been enough! I am not saying….” He felt like his heart was hurting, and he felt like he was a child again. This time, though, he was angry with his brother. “How could you not forgive mother! I would. I would welcome her in!” He stated firmly, before standing up straight. “All she did was abandon us, that’s all.” He, of course, did not know the real reason that they didn’t have their mother any more. He had not been privy to that information, since he had been too young at the time.
“She’s our mother. I miss her. Why don’t you?” It was part of the anger, part wonder. Thaddeus hadn’t moved on. It seemed like Amiti did, and he wanted to know why…. And also how. Maybe things wouldn’t hurt so much if he had moved on like Amiti… but he just didn’t know how to. Their mother had no idea how her absence affected the family, affected him. He did miss her. She was the one that took them to church, comforted them, tucked them in. How could he not miss her? He folded his arms across his chest. “What do you mean by mother tainting the house?”
Thaddeus frowned quietly, waiting for his oldest brother’s response. Talking and thinking about their mother always made him feel dispirited, but… talking to Amiti always helped. Thaddeus always had admired his brother- he made sure the family had everything they needed, made sure they had honor, made sure everything was in order… but the one thing Amiti couldn’t fix, was the broken relationship between their mother. He held the good memories close, but somehow it just had gotten to the point of missing his mom. He was very young when she left. And now that he was older, he still felt like something- someone, was missing. Thaddeus grew serious- almost out of character serious, for a question that he really wanted an answer to. It was essential. He waited for Amiti’s answer, leaning slightly forward. He reached up and ran his fingers slowly through his own hair, before shifting his eyes to the ground without making a single noise.
Finally his brother spoke up, and Thaddeus narrowed his eyes. “What?” He said quietly, not sure if he had heard his brother right. Thoughts were whirling through his head, he couldn’t believe… “Of course father has been enough! I am not saying….” He felt like his heart was hurting, and he felt like he was a child again. This time, though, he was angry with his brother. “How could you not forgive mother! I would. I would welcome her in!” He stated firmly, before standing up straight. “All she did was abandon us, that’s all.” He, of course, did not know the real reason that they didn’t have their mother any more. He had not been privy to that information, since he had been too young at the time.
“She’s our mother. I miss her. Why don’t you?” It was part of the anger, part wonder. Thaddeus hadn’t moved on. It seemed like Amiti did, and he wanted to know why…. And also how. Maybe things wouldn’t hurt so much if he had moved on like Amiti… but he just didn’t know how to. Their mother had no idea how her absence affected the family, affected him. He did miss her. She was the one that took them to church, comforted them, tucked them in. How could he not miss her? He folded his arms across his chest. “What do you mean by mother tainting the house?”
He watched his brother digesting what he’d just said. Thaddeus was a tender hearted soul and even though Amiti had attempted to modulate his own tone, it hadn’t worked. In the intervening seconds that Thaddeus took to think it all through, anger rippled across the younger man’s face. Amiti sighed, bracing for the explosion. His brother’s agitation reached a fevered pitch and then Thaddeus launched into the tirade.
“How could you not forgive mother! I would. I would welcome her in!”
“Easily,” Amiti said, and rested his elbows on the desktop, steepling his fingers, only his brown eyes following Thaddeus’s upsurge from the chair. “I wouldn’t let her set a single whore foot in this house and defile it further.” He did not say this to inflame his brother, even though he knew it would. He said it because Thaddeus was no longer a child and didn’t need to be shielded like one. The sooner he was an adult and faced facts, the better.
“All she did was abandon us, that’s all.” Thaddeus insisted and Amiti stood, openly glaring at his brother.
“Don’t be a child, Thaddeus,” he said with all the calm he did not feel. “Everything is always more complex than it appears.” But Thaddeus wasn’t listening.
“She’s our mother. I miss her. Why don’t you?” Before Amiti had a chance to answer, Thaddeus changed tack, which was a good thing, because Amiti wasn’t entirely sure he could keep his composure much longer without grabbing his brother by the ear and yanking him back down into his seat, so that they could have a civilized discussion like adults. This was smacking strongly of the kinds of arguments they’d had as children. ”What do you mean by mother tainting the house?”
“Thaddeus, sit down,” Amiti said and demonstrated the behavior by doing it himself. He dropped back in his chair and waited for his little brother to comply before he finally steepled his fingers and answered. “She didn’t leave us. She left Father.” Pulling at his beard, he sat back and looked out the window for a moment, speaking that way instead of to Thaddeus’s face. “He found her in this house, having sex with another man.”
There. The dirty secret made known. The family’s shame laid bare. Amiti felt his own cheeks burn and he curled his fists until his knuckles turned white. Just the thought of his own mother, capable of playing the harlot, of being so...so selfish. Perhaps she had been unhappy, but she’d harmed four other people so much more and for life in order to pursue her own happiness. And where had it landed her? Banishment. The abandonment of children who loved her and needed her. Forcing her husband to a lifetime of bitterness and her eldest son following in those exact footsteps - of trusting no woman and nearly hating the sex as a whole.
Clenching his jaw, he glanced at his brother, knowing Thaddeus would understand what such a revelation meant and why it couldn't’ leave this room. Just the rumor would be enough to taint them again and they risked their friends and extended family refusing to have anything to do with them. Judea could be unforgiving in that respect.
“That,” he said, barely above a whisper, “Is why I cannot forgive her.”
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He watched his brother digesting what he’d just said. Thaddeus was a tender hearted soul and even though Amiti had attempted to modulate his own tone, it hadn’t worked. In the intervening seconds that Thaddeus took to think it all through, anger rippled across the younger man’s face. Amiti sighed, bracing for the explosion. His brother’s agitation reached a fevered pitch and then Thaddeus launched into the tirade.
“How could you not forgive mother! I would. I would welcome her in!”
“Easily,” Amiti said, and rested his elbows on the desktop, steepling his fingers, only his brown eyes following Thaddeus’s upsurge from the chair. “I wouldn’t let her set a single whore foot in this house and defile it further.” He did not say this to inflame his brother, even though he knew it would. He said it because Thaddeus was no longer a child and didn’t need to be shielded like one. The sooner he was an adult and faced facts, the better.
“All she did was abandon us, that’s all.” Thaddeus insisted and Amiti stood, openly glaring at his brother.
“Don’t be a child, Thaddeus,” he said with all the calm he did not feel. “Everything is always more complex than it appears.” But Thaddeus wasn’t listening.
“She’s our mother. I miss her. Why don’t you?” Before Amiti had a chance to answer, Thaddeus changed tack, which was a good thing, because Amiti wasn’t entirely sure he could keep his composure much longer without grabbing his brother by the ear and yanking him back down into his seat, so that they could have a civilized discussion like adults. This was smacking strongly of the kinds of arguments they’d had as children. ”What do you mean by mother tainting the house?”
“Thaddeus, sit down,” Amiti said and demonstrated the behavior by doing it himself. He dropped back in his chair and waited for his little brother to comply before he finally steepled his fingers and answered. “She didn’t leave us. She left Father.” Pulling at his beard, he sat back and looked out the window for a moment, speaking that way instead of to Thaddeus’s face. “He found her in this house, having sex with another man.”
There. The dirty secret made known. The family’s shame laid bare. Amiti felt his own cheeks burn and he curled his fists until his knuckles turned white. Just the thought of his own mother, capable of playing the harlot, of being so...so selfish. Perhaps she had been unhappy, but she’d harmed four other people so much more and for life in order to pursue her own happiness. And where had it landed her? Banishment. The abandonment of children who loved her and needed her. Forcing her husband to a lifetime of bitterness and her eldest son following in those exact footsteps - of trusting no woman and nearly hating the sex as a whole.
Clenching his jaw, he glanced at his brother, knowing Thaddeus would understand what such a revelation meant and why it couldn't’ leave this room. Just the rumor would be enough to taint them again and they risked their friends and extended family refusing to have anything to do with them. Judea could be unforgiving in that respect.
“That,” he said, barely above a whisper, “Is why I cannot forgive her.”
He watched his brother digesting what he’d just said. Thaddeus was a tender hearted soul and even though Amiti had attempted to modulate his own tone, it hadn’t worked. In the intervening seconds that Thaddeus took to think it all through, anger rippled across the younger man’s face. Amiti sighed, bracing for the explosion. His brother’s agitation reached a fevered pitch and then Thaddeus launched into the tirade.
“How could you not forgive mother! I would. I would welcome her in!”
“Easily,” Amiti said, and rested his elbows on the desktop, steepling his fingers, only his brown eyes following Thaddeus’s upsurge from the chair. “I wouldn’t let her set a single whore foot in this house and defile it further.” He did not say this to inflame his brother, even though he knew it would. He said it because Thaddeus was no longer a child and didn’t need to be shielded like one. The sooner he was an adult and faced facts, the better.
“All she did was abandon us, that’s all.” Thaddeus insisted and Amiti stood, openly glaring at his brother.
“Don’t be a child, Thaddeus,” he said with all the calm he did not feel. “Everything is always more complex than it appears.” But Thaddeus wasn’t listening.
“She’s our mother. I miss her. Why don’t you?” Before Amiti had a chance to answer, Thaddeus changed tack, which was a good thing, because Amiti wasn’t entirely sure he could keep his composure much longer without grabbing his brother by the ear and yanking him back down into his seat, so that they could have a civilized discussion like adults. This was smacking strongly of the kinds of arguments they’d had as children. ”What do you mean by mother tainting the house?”
“Thaddeus, sit down,” Amiti said and demonstrated the behavior by doing it himself. He dropped back in his chair and waited for his little brother to comply before he finally steepled his fingers and answered. “She didn’t leave us. She left Father.” Pulling at his beard, he sat back and looked out the window for a moment, speaking that way instead of to Thaddeus’s face. “He found her in this house, having sex with another man.”
There. The dirty secret made known. The family’s shame laid bare. Amiti felt his own cheeks burn and he curled his fists until his knuckles turned white. Just the thought of his own mother, capable of playing the harlot, of being so...so selfish. Perhaps she had been unhappy, but she’d harmed four other people so much more and for life in order to pursue her own happiness. And where had it landed her? Banishment. The abandonment of children who loved her and needed her. Forcing her husband to a lifetime of bitterness and her eldest son following in those exact footsteps - of trusting no woman and nearly hating the sex as a whole.
Clenching his jaw, he glanced at his brother, knowing Thaddeus would understand what such a revelation meant and why it couldn't’ leave this room. Just the rumor would be enough to taint them again and they risked their friends and extended family refusing to have anything to do with them. Judea could be unforgiving in that respect.
“That,” he said, barely above a whisper, “Is why I cannot forgive her.”
Although she had abandoned them, Thaddeus still viewed their mother as their mother. How could Amiti not even try to consider forgiving her if there was ever a chance? This was all hypothetical, but it was just as much of a sore subject for Thaddeus as ever. Thaddeus narrowed his eyes as his brother seemed to insult their mother further, and Thad’s heart raged in offence. He did not understand. He wasn’t a child but the whole hurt he felt from what happened had been hidden in ice beneath his heart, clear and fresh as if she had just left him. His feelings were finally all coming out. Thaddeus asked a question, his tone empty of accusation unlike before. He knew he needed to understand it all… somehow.
Thaddeus frowned as he obeyed his brother’s order to sit. He turned his head to the side as Amiti began to speak the truth- the real truth - and he hung on every word of it. Thad’s eyes widened slowly as he realized his mother’s betrayal, as if he just couldn’t believe it. Perhaps he didn’t want to believe it.
“What?” Thaddeus uttered quietly. He didn’t need Amiti to respond, it was more of him simply processing. Mother had an affair? Thaddeus saw Amiti’s expression and recognized it as it was supposed to be a secret. Perhaps the only other person who would be told would be Shiloh, eventually if their youngest brother ever asked but… not a soul more. Thaddeus knew enough about how to keep secrets. The man was silent for a while, before he nodded at Amiti’s hushed words. “I understand.” Thaddeus confirmed. The man stood up from his chair again, and let out a tired breath.
“I need water.” For the first time, Thaddeus’s words were without emotion. They were neutral and almost entirely dead. He was holding it in. He was holding everything in, like always, locking him up inside as if he was keeping a deep dark pit that he didn’t want anything or anyone to see. His facial expression became just as neutral. Thaddeus turned and started to walk out of the study. Before reaching the door, Thaddeus stopped and glanced back.
“Thank you for telling me, brother.” Thaddeus said in a hushed volume. Again, there was no emotion in his voice. Not even a quiver. As hard as it was, he understood that he had needed to hear the truth. As hard as it was.
With that, Thaddeus continued out of the room.
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Although she had abandoned them, Thaddeus still viewed their mother as their mother. How could Amiti not even try to consider forgiving her if there was ever a chance? This was all hypothetical, but it was just as much of a sore subject for Thaddeus as ever. Thaddeus narrowed his eyes as his brother seemed to insult their mother further, and Thad’s heart raged in offence. He did not understand. He wasn’t a child but the whole hurt he felt from what happened had been hidden in ice beneath his heart, clear and fresh as if she had just left him. His feelings were finally all coming out. Thaddeus asked a question, his tone empty of accusation unlike before. He knew he needed to understand it all… somehow.
Thaddeus frowned as he obeyed his brother’s order to sit. He turned his head to the side as Amiti began to speak the truth- the real truth - and he hung on every word of it. Thad’s eyes widened slowly as he realized his mother’s betrayal, as if he just couldn’t believe it. Perhaps he didn’t want to believe it.
“What?” Thaddeus uttered quietly. He didn’t need Amiti to respond, it was more of him simply processing. Mother had an affair? Thaddeus saw Amiti’s expression and recognized it as it was supposed to be a secret. Perhaps the only other person who would be told would be Shiloh, eventually if their youngest brother ever asked but… not a soul more. Thaddeus knew enough about how to keep secrets. The man was silent for a while, before he nodded at Amiti’s hushed words. “I understand.” Thaddeus confirmed. The man stood up from his chair again, and let out a tired breath.
“I need water.” For the first time, Thaddeus’s words were without emotion. They were neutral and almost entirely dead. He was holding it in. He was holding everything in, like always, locking him up inside as if he was keeping a deep dark pit that he didn’t want anything or anyone to see. His facial expression became just as neutral. Thaddeus turned and started to walk out of the study. Before reaching the door, Thaddeus stopped and glanced back.
“Thank you for telling me, brother.” Thaddeus said in a hushed volume. Again, there was no emotion in his voice. Not even a quiver. As hard as it was, he understood that he had needed to hear the truth. As hard as it was.
With that, Thaddeus continued out of the room.
Although she had abandoned them, Thaddeus still viewed their mother as their mother. How could Amiti not even try to consider forgiving her if there was ever a chance? This was all hypothetical, but it was just as much of a sore subject for Thaddeus as ever. Thaddeus narrowed his eyes as his brother seemed to insult their mother further, and Thad’s heart raged in offence. He did not understand. He wasn’t a child but the whole hurt he felt from what happened had been hidden in ice beneath his heart, clear and fresh as if she had just left him. His feelings were finally all coming out. Thaddeus asked a question, his tone empty of accusation unlike before. He knew he needed to understand it all… somehow.
Thaddeus frowned as he obeyed his brother’s order to sit. He turned his head to the side as Amiti began to speak the truth- the real truth - and he hung on every word of it. Thad’s eyes widened slowly as he realized his mother’s betrayal, as if he just couldn’t believe it. Perhaps he didn’t want to believe it.
“What?” Thaddeus uttered quietly. He didn’t need Amiti to respond, it was more of him simply processing. Mother had an affair? Thaddeus saw Amiti’s expression and recognized it as it was supposed to be a secret. Perhaps the only other person who would be told would be Shiloh, eventually if their youngest brother ever asked but… not a soul more. Thaddeus knew enough about how to keep secrets. The man was silent for a while, before he nodded at Amiti’s hushed words. “I understand.” Thaddeus confirmed. The man stood up from his chair again, and let out a tired breath.
“I need water.” For the first time, Thaddeus’s words were without emotion. They were neutral and almost entirely dead. He was holding it in. He was holding everything in, like always, locking him up inside as if he was keeping a deep dark pit that he didn’t want anything or anyone to see. His facial expression became just as neutral. Thaddeus turned and started to walk out of the study. Before reaching the door, Thaddeus stopped and glanced back.
“Thank you for telling me, brother.” Thaddeus said in a hushed volume. Again, there was no emotion in his voice. Not even a quiver. As hard as it was, he understood that he had needed to hear the truth. As hard as it was.
With that, Thaddeus continued out of the room.
He hated to break his brother’s heart this way. The way Thaddeus championed their mother’s memory said more about the son than the woman herself and with each secret divulged, each shameful act laid bare, dread welled up within his breast. Every time he glanced at his brother, he saw the man’s eyes widen further and further, then, possibly worst of all, was when the surprise left Thaddeus’s face. The features of Thaddeus’s face slackened, corners of the mouth downturning, making him seem like a completely different person. Most of the time, Amiti wanted to wipe that happy, wide smile off his brother’s face. Not now. Now he wanted it back.
Thaddeus looked a bit lost, in Amiti’s opinion, as he rose from his chair stating in a flat way that he needed water. Amiti rose with him and came around the desk, nearly placing a steadying hand on his brother’s back but Thaddeus walked too quickly. Just as they reached the door, Amiti nearly collided with Thaddeus when he turned at the doorway. Jerking back at the last second, Amiti’s head tilted and then he nodded when his brother thanked him for telling the truth.
“Yeah,” he said, holding the edge of the door and leaning against it as Thaddeus walked away. “Yeah…” he said again through a sigh, leaning his head on the doorframe and watching his brother’s retreating back. Why did he feel like he’d just kicked a puppy? Yet again this was their mother’s fault. Another person she’d hurt by extension. Amiti’s expression darkened, his soft brown eyes hardening again as his hatred rekindled for the woman he tried desperately never to think about. Shutting the door, he walked over to his desk, sat down, and took up the reading pen again. If he buried himself in written text, his mother’s memory need not poison him further. This took up the rest of his afternoon, and when the evening meal came, he made sure to attempt to make his brother smile. At least once. Even if his mother wasn’t kind, it didn’t mean he shouldn’t be.
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He hated to break his brother’s heart this way. The way Thaddeus championed their mother’s memory said more about the son than the woman herself and with each secret divulged, each shameful act laid bare, dread welled up within his breast. Every time he glanced at his brother, he saw the man’s eyes widen further and further, then, possibly worst of all, was when the surprise left Thaddeus’s face. The features of Thaddeus’s face slackened, corners of the mouth downturning, making him seem like a completely different person. Most of the time, Amiti wanted to wipe that happy, wide smile off his brother’s face. Not now. Now he wanted it back.
Thaddeus looked a bit lost, in Amiti’s opinion, as he rose from his chair stating in a flat way that he needed water. Amiti rose with him and came around the desk, nearly placing a steadying hand on his brother’s back but Thaddeus walked too quickly. Just as they reached the door, Amiti nearly collided with Thaddeus when he turned at the doorway. Jerking back at the last second, Amiti’s head tilted and then he nodded when his brother thanked him for telling the truth.
“Yeah,” he said, holding the edge of the door and leaning against it as Thaddeus walked away. “Yeah…” he said again through a sigh, leaning his head on the doorframe and watching his brother’s retreating back. Why did he feel like he’d just kicked a puppy? Yet again this was their mother’s fault. Another person she’d hurt by extension. Amiti’s expression darkened, his soft brown eyes hardening again as his hatred rekindled for the woman he tried desperately never to think about. Shutting the door, he walked over to his desk, sat down, and took up the reading pen again. If he buried himself in written text, his mother’s memory need not poison him further. This took up the rest of his afternoon, and when the evening meal came, he made sure to attempt to make his brother smile. At least once. Even if his mother wasn’t kind, it didn’t mean he shouldn’t be.
He hated to break his brother’s heart this way. The way Thaddeus championed their mother’s memory said more about the son than the woman herself and with each secret divulged, each shameful act laid bare, dread welled up within his breast. Every time he glanced at his brother, he saw the man’s eyes widen further and further, then, possibly worst of all, was when the surprise left Thaddeus’s face. The features of Thaddeus’s face slackened, corners of the mouth downturning, making him seem like a completely different person. Most of the time, Amiti wanted to wipe that happy, wide smile off his brother’s face. Not now. Now he wanted it back.
Thaddeus looked a bit lost, in Amiti’s opinion, as he rose from his chair stating in a flat way that he needed water. Amiti rose with him and came around the desk, nearly placing a steadying hand on his brother’s back but Thaddeus walked too quickly. Just as they reached the door, Amiti nearly collided with Thaddeus when he turned at the doorway. Jerking back at the last second, Amiti’s head tilted and then he nodded when his brother thanked him for telling the truth.
“Yeah,” he said, holding the edge of the door and leaning against it as Thaddeus walked away. “Yeah…” he said again through a sigh, leaning his head on the doorframe and watching his brother’s retreating back. Why did he feel like he’d just kicked a puppy? Yet again this was their mother’s fault. Another person she’d hurt by extension. Amiti’s expression darkened, his soft brown eyes hardening again as his hatred rekindled for the woman he tried desperately never to think about. Shutting the door, he walked over to his desk, sat down, and took up the reading pen again. If he buried himself in written text, his mother’s memory need not poison him further. This took up the rest of his afternoon, and when the evening meal came, he made sure to attempt to make his brother smile. At least once. Even if his mother wasn’t kind, it didn’t mean he shouldn’t be.