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He’d lain there for what felt like forever. His body ached in places he didn’t know could even ache, and there was a bone deep weariness that was just as alien to the young lord. The day had been gruelling in every possible way. It would have made sense then, for Silanos to fall asleep as soon as he fell back into the lumpy, understuffed mattress.
He didn’t. Instead, he found himself uncommonly grateful for the sharp bits of straw that poked him in the back, for the snoring of the man in the next bunk, for all the sounds and disturbances that made clinging onto wakefulness that much easier. The barracks were crowded and hot and all the things that the young Valaoritis might have despised at any other moment in time, but right then he welcomed every little discomfort.
Silanos wasn’t a fan of sleep at the best of times. He’d developed a careful pattern of behaviours that let him put it off as long as possible, and made sure that when he didfinally succumb, he was drunk enough or had enough other intoxicants running through his bloodstream that he’d pass out and be so far under that dreams wouldn’t touch him. There was no fucking chance of such luxuries here.
It would be a lie to say he didn’t care about having his title disregarded, or that he didn’t have a thousand gripes about the accommodation, the ridiculous notion that Timaeus had of seeing him become a fucking soldier. But what bothered him the most, what had the panic twist cold in his stomach when Maleos had made his dumb fuck suggestion that Silanos stay here, was the fact that he’d be without his coping mechanisms. Nothing to knock him out, nothing to keep him awake, except for the pain of his fingernails digging into his palm in the attempt to keep his senses sharp and alert. He lay there and listened to the sound of everyone else sleeping and wished it away for himself.
He couldn’t move. Like he was telling his limbs to do things and they weren’t listening. His mother was wailing and Timaeus was leaning over Nico and doing..what was he doing? Trying to shake some life into him? Sil couldn’t move. He knew how it was going to play out. He knew that in a moment, the serving girl was going to walk in and she would see his brother still and pale and she would scream and the jug of wine would hit the floor and then it would look like blood. If he moved now, he could stop it, not hear her scream echoing off the walls but he couldn’t move. His fingers just locked into the linen of the table cloth and he could only watch. If he moved now, he could go to his mother and maybe hold together those pieces of her heart that had shattered so she wouldn’t just drift away from them. He couldn’t move.
In reality, he was moving a lot. Fractious and fitful, twisting in the coarse sheets that were standard issue, the young Lord tossed and turned through muttering and intermittent whimpers that broke the silence. Whatever dream held him, it clearly wasn’t pleasant.
Daxos ,of course, was more aware than most of Silanos’ strange relationship with sleep, but this was the closest he’d been to witness it. The few times the Lord had cried out in the time he’d been appointed his minder, there had been a thick oaken door between them. Now he was here, in the barracks, and at risk of waking the whole unit if left to be.
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He’d lain there for what felt like forever. His body ached in places he didn’t know could even ache, and there was a bone deep weariness that was just as alien to the young lord. The day had been gruelling in every possible way. It would have made sense then, for Silanos to fall asleep as soon as he fell back into the lumpy, understuffed mattress.
He didn’t. Instead, he found himself uncommonly grateful for the sharp bits of straw that poked him in the back, for the snoring of the man in the next bunk, for all the sounds and disturbances that made clinging onto wakefulness that much easier. The barracks were crowded and hot and all the things that the young Valaoritis might have despised at any other moment in time, but right then he welcomed every little discomfort.
Silanos wasn’t a fan of sleep at the best of times. He’d developed a careful pattern of behaviours that let him put it off as long as possible, and made sure that when he didfinally succumb, he was drunk enough or had enough other intoxicants running through his bloodstream that he’d pass out and be so far under that dreams wouldn’t touch him. There was no fucking chance of such luxuries here.
It would be a lie to say he didn’t care about having his title disregarded, or that he didn’t have a thousand gripes about the accommodation, the ridiculous notion that Timaeus had of seeing him become a fucking soldier. But what bothered him the most, what had the panic twist cold in his stomach when Maleos had made his dumb fuck suggestion that Silanos stay here, was the fact that he’d be without his coping mechanisms. Nothing to knock him out, nothing to keep him awake, except for the pain of his fingernails digging into his palm in the attempt to keep his senses sharp and alert. He lay there and listened to the sound of everyone else sleeping and wished it away for himself.
He couldn’t move. Like he was telling his limbs to do things and they weren’t listening. His mother was wailing and Timaeus was leaning over Nico and doing..what was he doing? Trying to shake some life into him? Sil couldn’t move. He knew how it was going to play out. He knew that in a moment, the serving girl was going to walk in and she would see his brother still and pale and she would scream and the jug of wine would hit the floor and then it would look like blood. If he moved now, he could stop it, not hear her scream echoing off the walls but he couldn’t move. His fingers just locked into the linen of the table cloth and he could only watch. If he moved now, he could go to his mother and maybe hold together those pieces of her heart that had shattered so she wouldn’t just drift away from them. He couldn’t move.
In reality, he was moving a lot. Fractious and fitful, twisting in the coarse sheets that were standard issue, the young Lord tossed and turned through muttering and intermittent whimpers that broke the silence. Whatever dream held him, it clearly wasn’t pleasant.
Daxos ,of course, was more aware than most of Silanos’ strange relationship with sleep, but this was the closest he’d been to witness it. The few times the Lord had cried out in the time he’d been appointed his minder, there had been a thick oaken door between them. Now he was here, in the barracks, and at risk of waking the whole unit if left to be.
He’d lain there for what felt like forever. His body ached in places he didn’t know could even ache, and there was a bone deep weariness that was just as alien to the young lord. The day had been gruelling in every possible way. It would have made sense then, for Silanos to fall asleep as soon as he fell back into the lumpy, understuffed mattress.
He didn’t. Instead, he found himself uncommonly grateful for the sharp bits of straw that poked him in the back, for the snoring of the man in the next bunk, for all the sounds and disturbances that made clinging onto wakefulness that much easier. The barracks were crowded and hot and all the things that the young Valaoritis might have despised at any other moment in time, but right then he welcomed every little discomfort.
Silanos wasn’t a fan of sleep at the best of times. He’d developed a careful pattern of behaviours that let him put it off as long as possible, and made sure that when he didfinally succumb, he was drunk enough or had enough other intoxicants running through his bloodstream that he’d pass out and be so far under that dreams wouldn’t touch him. There was no fucking chance of such luxuries here.
It would be a lie to say he didn’t care about having his title disregarded, or that he didn’t have a thousand gripes about the accommodation, the ridiculous notion that Timaeus had of seeing him become a fucking soldier. But what bothered him the most, what had the panic twist cold in his stomach when Maleos had made his dumb fuck suggestion that Silanos stay here, was the fact that he’d be without his coping mechanisms. Nothing to knock him out, nothing to keep him awake, except for the pain of his fingernails digging into his palm in the attempt to keep his senses sharp and alert. He lay there and listened to the sound of everyone else sleeping and wished it away for himself.
He couldn’t move. Like he was telling his limbs to do things and they weren’t listening. His mother was wailing and Timaeus was leaning over Nico and doing..what was he doing? Trying to shake some life into him? Sil couldn’t move. He knew how it was going to play out. He knew that in a moment, the serving girl was going to walk in and she would see his brother still and pale and she would scream and the jug of wine would hit the floor and then it would look like blood. If he moved now, he could stop it, not hear her scream echoing off the walls but he couldn’t move. His fingers just locked into the linen of the table cloth and he could only watch. If he moved now, he could go to his mother and maybe hold together those pieces of her heart that had shattered so she wouldn’t just drift away from them. He couldn’t move.
In reality, he was moving a lot. Fractious and fitful, twisting in the coarse sheets that were standard issue, the young Lord tossed and turned through muttering and intermittent whimpers that broke the silence. Whatever dream held him, it clearly wasn’t pleasant.
Daxos ,of course, was more aware than most of Silanos’ strange relationship with sleep, but this was the closest he’d been to witness it. The few times the Lord had cried out in the time he’d been appointed his minder, there had been a thick oaken door between them. Now he was here, in the barracks, and at risk of waking the whole unit if left to be.
It had been a long day, it often was when it came to the training and drills that the captain imposed on his soldiers. Daxos knew that Silanos had issues keeping up, no doubt it was a shock to him. Living in such lavish luxury with all the amenities befitting of his so-called station weakened and softened the man-child. Daxos didn't expect anything from the man-child, but he was still sorely disappointed.
Ever since the beginning of the boy's training, communication between the two had been lacking. He definitely couldn't blame him, the soldier had clocked him multiple times in the face. The anger was justified to some extent, and the soldier knew that one day the man-child would look back on this as a learning experience. He didn't like the boy to begin with, but he didn't dislike him either. His babysitting duties had shown that the boy also had problems that he didn't quite know how to process. The soldier could relate.
The soldier had eased himself onto the mattress, glad to have something rather than nothing. Sleeping in a chair outside Silanos' room had been quite an ordeal, he often found himself to be stiff, sore, and unable to get adequate sleep. The beds in the barracks were horrible by most standards, even the small home he rented had a better bed, he found them to be adequate, especially under these circumstances.
It took the soldier no time to fall asleep, most soldiers could fall asleep almost anywhere and at any time, and he was no exception. When on a campaign, it was often advised to get any amount of sleep if at all possible. He did not dream, he had not since his wife's death. In his mind, Daxos loved the rest, not spending another moment thinking of his dead wife or his motherless child was preferable to the mental anguish that he often subjected himself to.
It was a bit later when he began to hear movement and sounds. The soldier bolted out of bed and tried to reach for his spear or sword. He did not find them as it took a moment to realize that he was in the barracks. He scanned the room and it took no time to see where the sounds were coming from.
The man-child squirmed and moaned in bed, obviously having a horrible nightmare. The soldier sympathized with the boy for once, after his first taste of battle and watching his fellow soldiers die around him he found he also had night terrors. It happened with most new soldiers. The soldier had known the man-child to suffer from an intense lack of sleep he figured these nightmares were the cause of it. He remembered not wanting to sleep for fear of the screams and blood of battles.
He went to a small table in the corner, grabbed a small pitcher of water, and filled a cup. Bringing it over to the man-child he gently placed his hand on his back, "Silanos. Wake. You are safe." He waited for the man-child to respond, presenting the cup of water for him to drink.
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It had been a long day, it often was when it came to the training and drills that the captain imposed on his soldiers. Daxos knew that Silanos had issues keeping up, no doubt it was a shock to him. Living in such lavish luxury with all the amenities befitting of his so-called station weakened and softened the man-child. Daxos didn't expect anything from the man-child, but he was still sorely disappointed.
Ever since the beginning of the boy's training, communication between the two had been lacking. He definitely couldn't blame him, the soldier had clocked him multiple times in the face. The anger was justified to some extent, and the soldier knew that one day the man-child would look back on this as a learning experience. He didn't like the boy to begin with, but he didn't dislike him either. His babysitting duties had shown that the boy also had problems that he didn't quite know how to process. The soldier could relate.
The soldier had eased himself onto the mattress, glad to have something rather than nothing. Sleeping in a chair outside Silanos' room had been quite an ordeal, he often found himself to be stiff, sore, and unable to get adequate sleep. The beds in the barracks were horrible by most standards, even the small home he rented had a better bed, he found them to be adequate, especially under these circumstances.
It took the soldier no time to fall asleep, most soldiers could fall asleep almost anywhere and at any time, and he was no exception. When on a campaign, it was often advised to get any amount of sleep if at all possible. He did not dream, he had not since his wife's death. In his mind, Daxos loved the rest, not spending another moment thinking of his dead wife or his motherless child was preferable to the mental anguish that he often subjected himself to.
It was a bit later when he began to hear movement and sounds. The soldier bolted out of bed and tried to reach for his spear or sword. He did not find them as it took a moment to realize that he was in the barracks. He scanned the room and it took no time to see where the sounds were coming from.
The man-child squirmed and moaned in bed, obviously having a horrible nightmare. The soldier sympathized with the boy for once, after his first taste of battle and watching his fellow soldiers die around him he found he also had night terrors. It happened with most new soldiers. The soldier had known the man-child to suffer from an intense lack of sleep he figured these nightmares were the cause of it. He remembered not wanting to sleep for fear of the screams and blood of battles.
He went to a small table in the corner, grabbed a small pitcher of water, and filled a cup. Bringing it over to the man-child he gently placed his hand on his back, "Silanos. Wake. You are safe." He waited for the man-child to respond, presenting the cup of water for him to drink.
It had been a long day, it often was when it came to the training and drills that the captain imposed on his soldiers. Daxos knew that Silanos had issues keeping up, no doubt it was a shock to him. Living in such lavish luxury with all the amenities befitting of his so-called station weakened and softened the man-child. Daxos didn't expect anything from the man-child, but he was still sorely disappointed.
Ever since the beginning of the boy's training, communication between the two had been lacking. He definitely couldn't blame him, the soldier had clocked him multiple times in the face. The anger was justified to some extent, and the soldier knew that one day the man-child would look back on this as a learning experience. He didn't like the boy to begin with, but he didn't dislike him either. His babysitting duties had shown that the boy also had problems that he didn't quite know how to process. The soldier could relate.
The soldier had eased himself onto the mattress, glad to have something rather than nothing. Sleeping in a chair outside Silanos' room had been quite an ordeal, he often found himself to be stiff, sore, and unable to get adequate sleep. The beds in the barracks were horrible by most standards, even the small home he rented had a better bed, he found them to be adequate, especially under these circumstances.
It took the soldier no time to fall asleep, most soldiers could fall asleep almost anywhere and at any time, and he was no exception. When on a campaign, it was often advised to get any amount of sleep if at all possible. He did not dream, he had not since his wife's death. In his mind, Daxos loved the rest, not spending another moment thinking of his dead wife or his motherless child was preferable to the mental anguish that he often subjected himself to.
It was a bit later when he began to hear movement and sounds. The soldier bolted out of bed and tried to reach for his spear or sword. He did not find them as it took a moment to realize that he was in the barracks. He scanned the room and it took no time to see where the sounds were coming from.
The man-child squirmed and moaned in bed, obviously having a horrible nightmare. The soldier sympathized with the boy for once, after his first taste of battle and watching his fellow soldiers die around him he found he also had night terrors. It happened with most new soldiers. The soldier had known the man-child to suffer from an intense lack of sleep he figured these nightmares were the cause of it. He remembered not wanting to sleep for fear of the screams and blood of battles.
He went to a small table in the corner, grabbed a small pitcher of water, and filled a cup. Bringing it over to the man-child he gently placed his hand on his back, "Silanos. Wake. You are safe." He waited for the man-child to respond, presenting the cup of water for him to drink.
He awoke with a start: heart hammering like a drum in his chest, sweating like he’d run a race. For a brief, terrifying moment, Silanos had no idea where he was and he jerked away from the touch he could feel, responding to the fear from his nightmare which felt very real.
‘You are safe’
The voice he vaguely recognised and the young lord tilted his face toward what he could now make out as a figure in the low light. The realisation of where he was and what must have happened broke over him slowly, and he drew in a long shuddering breath before pushing up onto his elbows. Silently, he accepted the cup of water and drank deeply, letting the cool water drag him back fully to wakefulness.
He must have fallen asleep despite his best efforts, and he didn’t need to think much further than that to work out what must have happened. Jaw set and knuckles white-boned where his fingers wrapped around the now empty cup, Sil took a moment to try and calm himself before he addressed the shadowed figure beside him.
“Thanks” he managed after a stretch of quiet, not looking at Daxos. It was humiliating, that he should be brought so low by a fucking dream, and that now it had to be witnessed by one who already thought him a waste of space. Or maybe that made it better. It wasn't like he gave a shit about what Daxos thought of him anyway, he told himself.
“I..uh..” Sil reached for something flippant to say and failed, still too wound up from the nightmare to be able to summon his usual snark. He pushed himself to sit, kicking his legs free of where they’d become entangled in the sheets and set the cup down.
“I don’t sleep good” came the rather unnecessary confession, Sil pushing a hand through his hair and glancing sideways at the soldier. “Sorry if I disturbed you. I’m good now.”
It was a lie. He wasn’t good, far from it. It always took him some time, even once he’d woken for his body to believe that he wasn’t still living that moment, for the helpless fear reactions to settle. And then he just felt drained. Fuck this shit, this was exactly why Timaeus needed to back the fuck off and just let him live his life. Now he was stuck here having to explain himself and with nothing to fix the situation. Sil twisted his fingers together to hide the fact that his hands were trembling, cleared his throat and willed the other man to go the fuck away already.
“I’ll stay awake..it won’t be a problem” he prompted, hardly relishing the idea of getting through the next day and whatever bullshit awaited him on no sleep, but still preferring it over the risk of dreaming again. Maybe if he just collapsed four or five days into this crap then Tim would see the foolishness in the idea. “What like you’ve never had fucked up dreams before?” he snapped defensively at Daxos when that soldier made no move to leave. The man had done nothing to warrant it, but Sil intensely disliked feeling so vulnerable in front of the soldier who seemed to enjoy his misery.
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He awoke with a start: heart hammering like a drum in his chest, sweating like he’d run a race. For a brief, terrifying moment, Silanos had no idea where he was and he jerked away from the touch he could feel, responding to the fear from his nightmare which felt very real.
‘You are safe’
The voice he vaguely recognised and the young lord tilted his face toward what he could now make out as a figure in the low light. The realisation of where he was and what must have happened broke over him slowly, and he drew in a long shuddering breath before pushing up onto his elbows. Silently, he accepted the cup of water and drank deeply, letting the cool water drag him back fully to wakefulness.
He must have fallen asleep despite his best efforts, and he didn’t need to think much further than that to work out what must have happened. Jaw set and knuckles white-boned where his fingers wrapped around the now empty cup, Sil took a moment to try and calm himself before he addressed the shadowed figure beside him.
“Thanks” he managed after a stretch of quiet, not looking at Daxos. It was humiliating, that he should be brought so low by a fucking dream, and that now it had to be witnessed by one who already thought him a waste of space. Or maybe that made it better. It wasn't like he gave a shit about what Daxos thought of him anyway, he told himself.
“I..uh..” Sil reached for something flippant to say and failed, still too wound up from the nightmare to be able to summon his usual snark. He pushed himself to sit, kicking his legs free of where they’d become entangled in the sheets and set the cup down.
“I don’t sleep good” came the rather unnecessary confession, Sil pushing a hand through his hair and glancing sideways at the soldier. “Sorry if I disturbed you. I’m good now.”
It was a lie. He wasn’t good, far from it. It always took him some time, even once he’d woken for his body to believe that he wasn’t still living that moment, for the helpless fear reactions to settle. And then he just felt drained. Fuck this shit, this was exactly why Timaeus needed to back the fuck off and just let him live his life. Now he was stuck here having to explain himself and with nothing to fix the situation. Sil twisted his fingers together to hide the fact that his hands were trembling, cleared his throat and willed the other man to go the fuck away already.
“I’ll stay awake..it won’t be a problem” he prompted, hardly relishing the idea of getting through the next day and whatever bullshit awaited him on no sleep, but still preferring it over the risk of dreaming again. Maybe if he just collapsed four or five days into this crap then Tim would see the foolishness in the idea. “What like you’ve never had fucked up dreams before?” he snapped defensively at Daxos when that soldier made no move to leave. The man had done nothing to warrant it, but Sil intensely disliked feeling so vulnerable in front of the soldier who seemed to enjoy his misery.
He awoke with a start: heart hammering like a drum in his chest, sweating like he’d run a race. For a brief, terrifying moment, Silanos had no idea where he was and he jerked away from the touch he could feel, responding to the fear from his nightmare which felt very real.
‘You are safe’
The voice he vaguely recognised and the young lord tilted his face toward what he could now make out as a figure in the low light. The realisation of where he was and what must have happened broke over him slowly, and he drew in a long shuddering breath before pushing up onto his elbows. Silently, he accepted the cup of water and drank deeply, letting the cool water drag him back fully to wakefulness.
He must have fallen asleep despite his best efforts, and he didn’t need to think much further than that to work out what must have happened. Jaw set and knuckles white-boned where his fingers wrapped around the now empty cup, Sil took a moment to try and calm himself before he addressed the shadowed figure beside him.
“Thanks” he managed after a stretch of quiet, not looking at Daxos. It was humiliating, that he should be brought so low by a fucking dream, and that now it had to be witnessed by one who already thought him a waste of space. Or maybe that made it better. It wasn't like he gave a shit about what Daxos thought of him anyway, he told himself.
“I..uh..” Sil reached for something flippant to say and failed, still too wound up from the nightmare to be able to summon his usual snark. He pushed himself to sit, kicking his legs free of where they’d become entangled in the sheets and set the cup down.
“I don’t sleep good” came the rather unnecessary confession, Sil pushing a hand through his hair and glancing sideways at the soldier. “Sorry if I disturbed you. I’m good now.”
It was a lie. He wasn’t good, far from it. It always took him some time, even once he’d woken for his body to believe that he wasn’t still living that moment, for the helpless fear reactions to settle. And then he just felt drained. Fuck this shit, this was exactly why Timaeus needed to back the fuck off and just let him live his life. Now he was stuck here having to explain himself and with nothing to fix the situation. Sil twisted his fingers together to hide the fact that his hands were trembling, cleared his throat and willed the other man to go the fuck away already.
“I’ll stay awake..it won’t be a problem” he prompted, hardly relishing the idea of getting through the next day and whatever bullshit awaited him on no sleep, but still preferring it over the risk of dreaming again. Maybe if he just collapsed four or five days into this crap then Tim would see the foolishness in the idea. “What like you’ve never had fucked up dreams before?” he snapped defensively at Daxos when that soldier made no move to leave. The man had done nothing to warrant it, but Sil intensely disliked feeling so vulnerable in front of the soldier who seemed to enjoy his misery.
He watched a wide range of emotions flood across the man-child's face as he bolted out of bed and processed his surroundings. It would have been a bit comical, but the soldier had been experienced nightmares that kept one up at night.
The soldier couldn't help but suppress a smile as the noble had thanked him for the water. He didn't expect the young lord to show any kind of gratitude after the soldier's heavy treatment recently. He supposed Silanos didn't perhaps hate him fully yet. He mused for a few moments on what it would take to get the noble to despise the soldier fully.
'I don't sleep good... Sorry if I disturbed you. I’m good now.'
Daxos let out a bemused chuckle, "You looked like you were about to shit the bed there, Silanos." Daxos couldn't help but pick on the man-child, "If I hadn't woken you I suspected you would have been scrubbing the mattress until it was safe to eat off of."
Despite the noble's brave face, the soldier knew better. Silanos couldn't last in the unit if he didn't get enough sleep. Lack of sleep made one clumsy and irrational. To live one's life in a perpetual state of exhaustion bleeds one dry of energy, sapping any strength that the individual has. He felt a pang of pity.
'I’ll stay awake..it won’t be a problem... What like you’ve never had fucked up dreams before?'
The soldier shook his head, "You shouldn't stay awake." Daxos looked out of the window into the dark of night and whispered, "I'll leave you alone the rest of the night if you take a short walk with me." Daxos smiled slyly at Silanos, "We can grab some wine while we're out." If the boy was to be treated like any other soldier while in these walls, then Daxos would try his best to treat him like any other man in his unit. Including drinking with them.
The soldier went back to his bed and slid on his sandals. He glanced over at the man-child, sure he wasn't motivated to go anywhere with the man, "If you don't want to go, I'll make sure to keep you company all night long as you can't sleep. Every. Single. Moment." Daxos had hoped that his monotone whisper was enough to get across that the soldier wasn't going to take no for an answer, "Even while you shit."
He made his way quietly to the door gesturing to the young noble. As the soldier opened the door, he could feel the cool air hit his body. He began to think of Nadera as he waited for the man-child to follow. The night was cool and crisp then. He took a deep breath as he looked up at the starlight sky. It wasn't too dark, the skies were clear and a waning moon could be seen high in the sky.
They started down the road, most everyone was in bed, but Daxos waved to a watchman nearby. The soldier took a swig from his waterskin and offered it to Silanos, "and to answer your question, yes, I have had fucked up dreams before. I was fifteen when I took my first life in the name of Colchis and your family... I remember the look of terror and confusion on his face as my knife slid into his neck..." The soldier's face darkened, old anxiety sparked within him, "I see his face every time I close my eyes."
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He watched a wide range of emotions flood across the man-child's face as he bolted out of bed and processed his surroundings. It would have been a bit comical, but the soldier had been experienced nightmares that kept one up at night.
The soldier couldn't help but suppress a smile as the noble had thanked him for the water. He didn't expect the young lord to show any kind of gratitude after the soldier's heavy treatment recently. He supposed Silanos didn't perhaps hate him fully yet. He mused for a few moments on what it would take to get the noble to despise the soldier fully.
'I don't sleep good... Sorry if I disturbed you. I’m good now.'
Daxos let out a bemused chuckle, "You looked like you were about to shit the bed there, Silanos." Daxos couldn't help but pick on the man-child, "If I hadn't woken you I suspected you would have been scrubbing the mattress until it was safe to eat off of."
Despite the noble's brave face, the soldier knew better. Silanos couldn't last in the unit if he didn't get enough sleep. Lack of sleep made one clumsy and irrational. To live one's life in a perpetual state of exhaustion bleeds one dry of energy, sapping any strength that the individual has. He felt a pang of pity.
'I’ll stay awake..it won’t be a problem... What like you’ve never had fucked up dreams before?'
The soldier shook his head, "You shouldn't stay awake." Daxos looked out of the window into the dark of night and whispered, "I'll leave you alone the rest of the night if you take a short walk with me." Daxos smiled slyly at Silanos, "We can grab some wine while we're out." If the boy was to be treated like any other soldier while in these walls, then Daxos would try his best to treat him like any other man in his unit. Including drinking with them.
The soldier went back to his bed and slid on his sandals. He glanced over at the man-child, sure he wasn't motivated to go anywhere with the man, "If you don't want to go, I'll make sure to keep you company all night long as you can't sleep. Every. Single. Moment." Daxos had hoped that his monotone whisper was enough to get across that the soldier wasn't going to take no for an answer, "Even while you shit."
He made his way quietly to the door gesturing to the young noble. As the soldier opened the door, he could feel the cool air hit his body. He began to think of Nadera as he waited for the man-child to follow. The night was cool and crisp then. He took a deep breath as he looked up at the starlight sky. It wasn't too dark, the skies were clear and a waning moon could be seen high in the sky.
They started down the road, most everyone was in bed, but Daxos waved to a watchman nearby. The soldier took a swig from his waterskin and offered it to Silanos, "and to answer your question, yes, I have had fucked up dreams before. I was fifteen when I took my first life in the name of Colchis and your family... I remember the look of terror and confusion on his face as my knife slid into his neck..." The soldier's face darkened, old anxiety sparked within him, "I see his face every time I close my eyes."
He watched a wide range of emotions flood across the man-child's face as he bolted out of bed and processed his surroundings. It would have been a bit comical, but the soldier had been experienced nightmares that kept one up at night.
The soldier couldn't help but suppress a smile as the noble had thanked him for the water. He didn't expect the young lord to show any kind of gratitude after the soldier's heavy treatment recently. He supposed Silanos didn't perhaps hate him fully yet. He mused for a few moments on what it would take to get the noble to despise the soldier fully.
'I don't sleep good... Sorry if I disturbed you. I’m good now.'
Daxos let out a bemused chuckle, "You looked like you were about to shit the bed there, Silanos." Daxos couldn't help but pick on the man-child, "If I hadn't woken you I suspected you would have been scrubbing the mattress until it was safe to eat off of."
Despite the noble's brave face, the soldier knew better. Silanos couldn't last in the unit if he didn't get enough sleep. Lack of sleep made one clumsy and irrational. To live one's life in a perpetual state of exhaustion bleeds one dry of energy, sapping any strength that the individual has. He felt a pang of pity.
'I’ll stay awake..it won’t be a problem... What like you’ve never had fucked up dreams before?'
The soldier shook his head, "You shouldn't stay awake." Daxos looked out of the window into the dark of night and whispered, "I'll leave you alone the rest of the night if you take a short walk with me." Daxos smiled slyly at Silanos, "We can grab some wine while we're out." If the boy was to be treated like any other soldier while in these walls, then Daxos would try his best to treat him like any other man in his unit. Including drinking with them.
The soldier went back to his bed and slid on his sandals. He glanced over at the man-child, sure he wasn't motivated to go anywhere with the man, "If you don't want to go, I'll make sure to keep you company all night long as you can't sleep. Every. Single. Moment." Daxos had hoped that his monotone whisper was enough to get across that the soldier wasn't going to take no for an answer, "Even while you shit."
He made his way quietly to the door gesturing to the young noble. As the soldier opened the door, he could feel the cool air hit his body. He began to think of Nadera as he waited for the man-child to follow. The night was cool and crisp then. He took a deep breath as he looked up at the starlight sky. It wasn't too dark, the skies were clear and a waning moon could be seen high in the sky.
They started down the road, most everyone was in bed, but Daxos waved to a watchman nearby. The soldier took a swig from his waterskin and offered it to Silanos, "and to answer your question, yes, I have had fucked up dreams before. I was fifteen when I took my first life in the name of Colchis and your family... I remember the look of terror and confusion on his face as my knife slid into his neck..." The soldier's face darkened, old anxiety sparked within him, "I see his face every time I close my eyes."
Sil wasn’t ready to find any humour in the situation - whether it was because he was still too on edge or because it was Daxos poking fun, it didn’t matter. He shot the man a glare, threw the sweat sodden sheet away from him in disgust. Resting his head in his hands, the young lord thought he had said all he needed to, and when the soldier didn’t move away, he gave an exaggerated sigh and turned his head to stare at him in the darkness.
Why couldn't he just fuck off already?
‘I’ll leave you alone the rest of the night if you take a short walk with me’ That earned Daxos the sceptical lift of one eyebrow, a suspicion that didn’t falter when the older man grinned. Daxos wasn’t his friend. Sil couldn’t imagine a walk with him would end in anything pleasant. He was ready to dismiss the notion when the other mentioned wine and that's when Sil knew he was taking the piss. The same man that had hauled him down here in the first place and smacked him around now offering him an easy way out? It didn’t make sense.
“I’m not fucking going anywhere with you” Sil hissed before he turned over irritably and showed the other man his back. It wasn’t like he had any chance of falling back asleep anyway, but he'd be damned if he was going to be entertainment or a punching bag for the glorified babysitter anymore.
Thinking he had won a victory when he heard the man move away, Silanos blew out an agitated breath when Daxos spoke up again, and he narrowed his gaze at the sleeping man in the bunk next to his when he heard the man’s threats. Fucks sake. He knew Daxos well enough to know that he would do it as well, their time together had taught him the man was nothing if not tenacious.
It was that, combined with the crawling, skin felt too small for him agitation that had the younger man give up. Shoving his feet into his sandals, he snatched up a himation from next to his bed and threw it around his shoulders before glaring at the soldier and following him over toward the door.
When they got outside, the cooler night air was actually a blessing, Silanos drawing in slow, long lungfuls as he walked along in silence beside the other. Half turning when the waterskin was offering in his direction, he accepted it with a rough nod of thanks. And when Daxos began to speak, Sil pushed the stopped back in slowly, eyes flickering toward the soldier and then away again as he listened to the story being shared.
It gave him something else to focus on other than the lingering anxiousness that clung to him, and the young lord was quiet for a few moments as he considered what Daxos said. The ‘in the name of Colchis and your family’ was rather pointed, but he didn’t let himself get hung up on that, instead acknowledging a little relief that perhaps the man wasn’t about to ridicule him for being thrown out of sorts by a dream.
He looked towards the soldier, frowning slightly before passing back the waterskin and asking casually “Even now...five years on?” There was a slight edge to his voice because Silanos had hoped that with time the nightmares would fade. Daxos’ story did not fill him with optimism.
“My brother died…” he blurted, staring down at his feet as they continued to walk. “I saw it. I see it over and over again”
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Sil wasn’t ready to find any humour in the situation - whether it was because he was still too on edge or because it was Daxos poking fun, it didn’t matter. He shot the man a glare, threw the sweat sodden sheet away from him in disgust. Resting his head in his hands, the young lord thought he had said all he needed to, and when the soldier didn’t move away, he gave an exaggerated sigh and turned his head to stare at him in the darkness.
Why couldn't he just fuck off already?
‘I’ll leave you alone the rest of the night if you take a short walk with me’ That earned Daxos the sceptical lift of one eyebrow, a suspicion that didn’t falter when the older man grinned. Daxos wasn’t his friend. Sil couldn’t imagine a walk with him would end in anything pleasant. He was ready to dismiss the notion when the other mentioned wine and that's when Sil knew he was taking the piss. The same man that had hauled him down here in the first place and smacked him around now offering him an easy way out? It didn’t make sense.
“I’m not fucking going anywhere with you” Sil hissed before he turned over irritably and showed the other man his back. It wasn’t like he had any chance of falling back asleep anyway, but he'd be damned if he was going to be entertainment or a punching bag for the glorified babysitter anymore.
Thinking he had won a victory when he heard the man move away, Silanos blew out an agitated breath when Daxos spoke up again, and he narrowed his gaze at the sleeping man in the bunk next to his when he heard the man’s threats. Fucks sake. He knew Daxos well enough to know that he would do it as well, their time together had taught him the man was nothing if not tenacious.
It was that, combined with the crawling, skin felt too small for him agitation that had the younger man give up. Shoving his feet into his sandals, he snatched up a himation from next to his bed and threw it around his shoulders before glaring at the soldier and following him over toward the door.
When they got outside, the cooler night air was actually a blessing, Silanos drawing in slow, long lungfuls as he walked along in silence beside the other. Half turning when the waterskin was offering in his direction, he accepted it with a rough nod of thanks. And when Daxos began to speak, Sil pushed the stopped back in slowly, eyes flickering toward the soldier and then away again as he listened to the story being shared.
It gave him something else to focus on other than the lingering anxiousness that clung to him, and the young lord was quiet for a few moments as he considered what Daxos said. The ‘in the name of Colchis and your family’ was rather pointed, but he didn’t let himself get hung up on that, instead acknowledging a little relief that perhaps the man wasn’t about to ridicule him for being thrown out of sorts by a dream.
He looked towards the soldier, frowning slightly before passing back the waterskin and asking casually “Even now...five years on?” There was a slight edge to his voice because Silanos had hoped that with time the nightmares would fade. Daxos’ story did not fill him with optimism.
“My brother died…” he blurted, staring down at his feet as they continued to walk. “I saw it. I see it over and over again”
Sil wasn’t ready to find any humour in the situation - whether it was because he was still too on edge or because it was Daxos poking fun, it didn’t matter. He shot the man a glare, threw the sweat sodden sheet away from him in disgust. Resting his head in his hands, the young lord thought he had said all he needed to, and when the soldier didn’t move away, he gave an exaggerated sigh and turned his head to stare at him in the darkness.
Why couldn't he just fuck off already?
‘I’ll leave you alone the rest of the night if you take a short walk with me’ That earned Daxos the sceptical lift of one eyebrow, a suspicion that didn’t falter when the older man grinned. Daxos wasn’t his friend. Sil couldn’t imagine a walk with him would end in anything pleasant. He was ready to dismiss the notion when the other mentioned wine and that's when Sil knew he was taking the piss. The same man that had hauled him down here in the first place and smacked him around now offering him an easy way out? It didn’t make sense.
“I’m not fucking going anywhere with you” Sil hissed before he turned over irritably and showed the other man his back. It wasn’t like he had any chance of falling back asleep anyway, but he'd be damned if he was going to be entertainment or a punching bag for the glorified babysitter anymore.
Thinking he had won a victory when he heard the man move away, Silanos blew out an agitated breath when Daxos spoke up again, and he narrowed his gaze at the sleeping man in the bunk next to his when he heard the man’s threats. Fucks sake. He knew Daxos well enough to know that he would do it as well, their time together had taught him the man was nothing if not tenacious.
It was that, combined with the crawling, skin felt too small for him agitation that had the younger man give up. Shoving his feet into his sandals, he snatched up a himation from next to his bed and threw it around his shoulders before glaring at the soldier and following him over toward the door.
When they got outside, the cooler night air was actually a blessing, Silanos drawing in slow, long lungfuls as he walked along in silence beside the other. Half turning when the waterskin was offering in his direction, he accepted it with a rough nod of thanks. And when Daxos began to speak, Sil pushed the stopped back in slowly, eyes flickering toward the soldier and then away again as he listened to the story being shared.
It gave him something else to focus on other than the lingering anxiousness that clung to him, and the young lord was quiet for a few moments as he considered what Daxos said. The ‘in the name of Colchis and your family’ was rather pointed, but he didn’t let himself get hung up on that, instead acknowledging a little relief that perhaps the man wasn’t about to ridicule him for being thrown out of sorts by a dream.
He looked towards the soldier, frowning slightly before passing back the waterskin and asking casually “Even now...five years on?” There was a slight edge to his voice because Silanos had hoped that with time the nightmares would fade. Daxos’ story did not fill him with optimism.
“My brother died…” he blurted, staring down at his feet as they continued to walk. “I saw it. I see it over and over again”
Daxos nodded in response, "Yes, even now five years on, I still see his face." He cast his eyes towards the bright moon above, "But, I've come to realize that everyone will die. It took me a few years to come to terms with his death and to be honest with you, I'm still not over my wife's death." The soldier chuckled sadly. He turned to look over at man child and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "It gets easier with time, I can assure you that."
Daxos listened to Silanos explain his reasons on his lack of sleep, and the soldier could feel a pain in his heart. He knew what it was like to see a loved one die. He took a deep breath of the cool air, "I watched my mother die over the span of a week. She contracted some disease and slowly but surely I watched the life fade from her eyes... I didn't speak for weeks afterward. I was only twelve at the time."
Daxos looked back at the man-child, seeing the emotion on the man's face, "But you know, hiding behind vices will only help for so long. I used to hide behind wrath and booze. It doesn't help in the long term. It's just a bandage that never gets changed. The wound just festers. Eventually, it will cause more harm than good."
Daxos led them into the city, making his way towards his small rented home in the lower levels, "My home is up here, I got some wine. We'll have a couple of cups." He hated the capital and how busy it was. Even this late at night there were people out and about. In this part of town, he knew that there were quite a few shady individuals, though none dared to approach the two as they walked. It would be suicide to try anything against the large soldier.
It wasn't long before they reached his rented home, a small square ugly building. He opened the door and motioned for Silanos to join him inside. The room was immaculate but almost barren. A small fire pit sat in the middle, a table with two chairs pushed against the wall and a bed in the corner. Daxos nodded towards the table, "Have a seat. I know it's not as fancy as your manor but..." The soldier grabbed a flint and started a fire in the pit so they could have some light in the room.
After, the soldier went to the small cupboard next to the door and produced two cups and a pitcher. He made his way over to the table and sat down, pouring a cup for Silanos and himself, "This isn't anything too good. I used my good wine recently..." His mind wandered to the foreign woman whom he had lain within the recent past.
He finished his cup in a single gulp and poured himself another, "Silanos. I want you to know that I think your brother has gone overboard with your punishments. However, he is my lord, so I must do as he asked... within reason of course." The soldier smiled slyly and gestured towards the pitcher of wine.
"I know you don't like me, and honestly I don't like you either. But that does not mean I hate you either." The soldier finished off another cup, motioning for Silanos to help himself to the wine, "I know this probably doesn't mean much to you, but if you need some help, I'll do what I can. As long as it doesn't get me executed." The soldier chuckled softly. He stared intently at the man-child's face, "Unload on me. Tell me about your problems. I'll listen."
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Daxos nodded in response, "Yes, even now five years on, I still see his face." He cast his eyes towards the bright moon above, "But, I've come to realize that everyone will die. It took me a few years to come to terms with his death and to be honest with you, I'm still not over my wife's death." The soldier chuckled sadly. He turned to look over at man child and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "It gets easier with time, I can assure you that."
Daxos listened to Silanos explain his reasons on his lack of sleep, and the soldier could feel a pain in his heart. He knew what it was like to see a loved one die. He took a deep breath of the cool air, "I watched my mother die over the span of a week. She contracted some disease and slowly but surely I watched the life fade from her eyes... I didn't speak for weeks afterward. I was only twelve at the time."
Daxos looked back at the man-child, seeing the emotion on the man's face, "But you know, hiding behind vices will only help for so long. I used to hide behind wrath and booze. It doesn't help in the long term. It's just a bandage that never gets changed. The wound just festers. Eventually, it will cause more harm than good."
Daxos led them into the city, making his way towards his small rented home in the lower levels, "My home is up here, I got some wine. We'll have a couple of cups." He hated the capital and how busy it was. Even this late at night there were people out and about. In this part of town, he knew that there were quite a few shady individuals, though none dared to approach the two as they walked. It would be suicide to try anything against the large soldier.
It wasn't long before they reached his rented home, a small square ugly building. He opened the door and motioned for Silanos to join him inside. The room was immaculate but almost barren. A small fire pit sat in the middle, a table with two chairs pushed against the wall and a bed in the corner. Daxos nodded towards the table, "Have a seat. I know it's not as fancy as your manor but..." The soldier grabbed a flint and started a fire in the pit so they could have some light in the room.
After, the soldier went to the small cupboard next to the door and produced two cups and a pitcher. He made his way over to the table and sat down, pouring a cup for Silanos and himself, "This isn't anything too good. I used my good wine recently..." His mind wandered to the foreign woman whom he had lain within the recent past.
He finished his cup in a single gulp and poured himself another, "Silanos. I want you to know that I think your brother has gone overboard with your punishments. However, he is my lord, so I must do as he asked... within reason of course." The soldier smiled slyly and gestured towards the pitcher of wine.
"I know you don't like me, and honestly I don't like you either. But that does not mean I hate you either." The soldier finished off another cup, motioning for Silanos to help himself to the wine, "I know this probably doesn't mean much to you, but if you need some help, I'll do what I can. As long as it doesn't get me executed." The soldier chuckled softly. He stared intently at the man-child's face, "Unload on me. Tell me about your problems. I'll listen."
Daxos nodded in response, "Yes, even now five years on, I still see his face." He cast his eyes towards the bright moon above, "But, I've come to realize that everyone will die. It took me a few years to come to terms with his death and to be honest with you, I'm still not over my wife's death." The soldier chuckled sadly. He turned to look over at man child and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "It gets easier with time, I can assure you that."
Daxos listened to Silanos explain his reasons on his lack of sleep, and the soldier could feel a pain in his heart. He knew what it was like to see a loved one die. He took a deep breath of the cool air, "I watched my mother die over the span of a week. She contracted some disease and slowly but surely I watched the life fade from her eyes... I didn't speak for weeks afterward. I was only twelve at the time."
Daxos looked back at the man-child, seeing the emotion on the man's face, "But you know, hiding behind vices will only help for so long. I used to hide behind wrath and booze. It doesn't help in the long term. It's just a bandage that never gets changed. The wound just festers. Eventually, it will cause more harm than good."
Daxos led them into the city, making his way towards his small rented home in the lower levels, "My home is up here, I got some wine. We'll have a couple of cups." He hated the capital and how busy it was. Even this late at night there were people out and about. In this part of town, he knew that there were quite a few shady individuals, though none dared to approach the two as they walked. It would be suicide to try anything against the large soldier.
It wasn't long before they reached his rented home, a small square ugly building. He opened the door and motioned for Silanos to join him inside. The room was immaculate but almost barren. A small fire pit sat in the middle, a table with two chairs pushed against the wall and a bed in the corner. Daxos nodded towards the table, "Have a seat. I know it's not as fancy as your manor but..." The soldier grabbed a flint and started a fire in the pit so they could have some light in the room.
After, the soldier went to the small cupboard next to the door and produced two cups and a pitcher. He made his way over to the table and sat down, pouring a cup for Silanos and himself, "This isn't anything too good. I used my good wine recently..." His mind wandered to the foreign woman whom he had lain within the recent past.
He finished his cup in a single gulp and poured himself another, "Silanos. I want you to know that I think your brother has gone overboard with your punishments. However, he is my lord, so I must do as he asked... within reason of course." The soldier smiled slyly and gestured towards the pitcher of wine.
"I know you don't like me, and honestly I don't like you either. But that does not mean I hate you either." The soldier finished off another cup, motioning for Silanos to help himself to the wine, "I know this probably doesn't mean much to you, but if you need some help, I'll do what I can. As long as it doesn't get me executed." The soldier chuckled softly. He stared intently at the man-child's face, "Unload on me. Tell me about your problems. I'll listen."
The hand that landed briefly on the young lord’s shoulder was entirely unexpected, and Silanos glanced uneasily at Daxos, unsure as to why the man was being sympathetic when he had seemed to relish making his life a misery. But he could find no sign of deceit in the other man’s gaze, and perhaps that was what led to him bringing up Niko, a thing that he tended to avoid.
Speaking the words only served to remind that he wasn’t coming back, but Sil already felt raw with it so soon on the tail of one of the nightmares. Everything was already so close to the surface.
“I’m sorry.” he offered, slightly stilted. “About your mother.”And then the Valaoritis Lord scowled as the soldier spoke words he didn’t want to hear. Vices he called them. Releif was what Sil preferred. The notion of getting through the next however fucking long Tim intended to carry on with this charade for without his numbing agents of choice was miserable. Even if he could find the truth in the other’s words, he didn't feel ready to give up the comfort that wine and opium offered, didn't know how he'd get by without them.
“I don’t know” he grumbled. “Feels better than fucking dreams like that. Even if the next morning is grim when you get woken by some idiot throwing water over you” He said slyly, throwing a look at the soldier to ensure it wasn’t taken badly. If anyone should be pissed about that, it was him, he judged.
They had trudged through the darkened city streets, and as they walked Silanos could feel the lingering tension from the dream fade, leaving him feeling drained and exhausted. Wine sounded good like it might chase the chill from his bones. He’d been sweating when he woke, and now the cool night air had made it clammy and cold on his skin. He was glad when Daxos led them to a small house, stepping past the man into the building and trying not to gawp at how humble it was. He obviously failed, and looked guiltily across at the man when he drew attention to the fact, shrugging and rubbing at the back of his neck, “I’ve seen worse” he said, which was a lie, but seemed like something to take the sting out of his apparent distaste, and the lord cast himself carelessly onto one of the chairs, looking on as Daxos struck a fire and then accepting the cup of wine eagerly.
“ I don’t care,” he said wryly, lifting it to his lips and taking a large gulp. Daxos wasn’t wrong, the liquid edging towards sour, but Silanos wasn’t lying either, and he drank it down almost as fast as the other man, only lowering his cup when the other man spoke. He looked on, the faintest frown gathering between his brow because of all things, he had not expected such sentiments from the man before him.
Part of him - ridiculously - wanted to defend his brother, because Sil knew he’d fucked up pretty bad. Timaeus had run out of ideas...he couldn’t blame him really. He kept his mouth shut though, reached to refill his cup and gave a slight snort of laughter when a more honest account of Daxos’ opinion was aired. And then the lord was frowning again, staring into the wine he held as he considered the man’s words. He wasn’t sure he trusted the soldier - what if he’d been put up to this by Maleos or even by Tim. What if it was just something to be used against him later? “ I don’t want your pity” he found himself saying. “I’m not looking for a shoulder to cry on, and if I were, I’d want a prettier one than you, Daxos. Talking isn't going to change anything, is it? I just need to endure this fucking training and then I can get on with my life the way I want to”
Tim would come around...he had to. Sil couldn't stomach the idea of him not. But he seemed to realise his words might have come off unappreciative, so he went on. “ Thanks though..for this” he lifted the cup a fraction. “ I….its not always easy settling down again after the dreams. I prefer not sleeping. Or being too out of it to wake up even if I do dream, you know?”
He probably didn't know. Daxos was a soldier, and so lived a lifestyle about as far removed from Sil’s as the boy could imagine. His gaze flickered over the other man. “ Why’d you enlist anyway? Military family?”
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The hand that landed briefly on the young lord’s shoulder was entirely unexpected, and Silanos glanced uneasily at Daxos, unsure as to why the man was being sympathetic when he had seemed to relish making his life a misery. But he could find no sign of deceit in the other man’s gaze, and perhaps that was what led to him bringing up Niko, a thing that he tended to avoid.
Speaking the words only served to remind that he wasn’t coming back, but Sil already felt raw with it so soon on the tail of one of the nightmares. Everything was already so close to the surface.
“I’m sorry.” he offered, slightly stilted. “About your mother.”And then the Valaoritis Lord scowled as the soldier spoke words he didn’t want to hear. Vices he called them. Releif was what Sil preferred. The notion of getting through the next however fucking long Tim intended to carry on with this charade for without his numbing agents of choice was miserable. Even if he could find the truth in the other’s words, he didn't feel ready to give up the comfort that wine and opium offered, didn't know how he'd get by without them.
“I don’t know” he grumbled. “Feels better than fucking dreams like that. Even if the next morning is grim when you get woken by some idiot throwing water over you” He said slyly, throwing a look at the soldier to ensure it wasn’t taken badly. If anyone should be pissed about that, it was him, he judged.
They had trudged through the darkened city streets, and as they walked Silanos could feel the lingering tension from the dream fade, leaving him feeling drained and exhausted. Wine sounded good like it might chase the chill from his bones. He’d been sweating when he woke, and now the cool night air had made it clammy and cold on his skin. He was glad when Daxos led them to a small house, stepping past the man into the building and trying not to gawp at how humble it was. He obviously failed, and looked guiltily across at the man when he drew attention to the fact, shrugging and rubbing at the back of his neck, “I’ve seen worse” he said, which was a lie, but seemed like something to take the sting out of his apparent distaste, and the lord cast himself carelessly onto one of the chairs, looking on as Daxos struck a fire and then accepting the cup of wine eagerly.
“ I don’t care,” he said wryly, lifting it to his lips and taking a large gulp. Daxos wasn’t wrong, the liquid edging towards sour, but Silanos wasn’t lying either, and he drank it down almost as fast as the other man, only lowering his cup when the other man spoke. He looked on, the faintest frown gathering between his brow because of all things, he had not expected such sentiments from the man before him.
Part of him - ridiculously - wanted to defend his brother, because Sil knew he’d fucked up pretty bad. Timaeus had run out of ideas...he couldn’t blame him really. He kept his mouth shut though, reached to refill his cup and gave a slight snort of laughter when a more honest account of Daxos’ opinion was aired. And then the lord was frowning again, staring into the wine he held as he considered the man’s words. He wasn’t sure he trusted the soldier - what if he’d been put up to this by Maleos or even by Tim. What if it was just something to be used against him later? “ I don’t want your pity” he found himself saying. “I’m not looking for a shoulder to cry on, and if I were, I’d want a prettier one than you, Daxos. Talking isn't going to change anything, is it? I just need to endure this fucking training and then I can get on with my life the way I want to”
Tim would come around...he had to. Sil couldn't stomach the idea of him not. But he seemed to realise his words might have come off unappreciative, so he went on. “ Thanks though..for this” he lifted the cup a fraction. “ I….its not always easy settling down again after the dreams. I prefer not sleeping. Or being too out of it to wake up even if I do dream, you know?”
He probably didn't know. Daxos was a soldier, and so lived a lifestyle about as far removed from Sil’s as the boy could imagine. His gaze flickered over the other man. “ Why’d you enlist anyway? Military family?”
The hand that landed briefly on the young lord’s shoulder was entirely unexpected, and Silanos glanced uneasily at Daxos, unsure as to why the man was being sympathetic when he had seemed to relish making his life a misery. But he could find no sign of deceit in the other man’s gaze, and perhaps that was what led to him bringing up Niko, a thing that he tended to avoid.
Speaking the words only served to remind that he wasn’t coming back, but Sil already felt raw with it so soon on the tail of one of the nightmares. Everything was already so close to the surface.
“I’m sorry.” he offered, slightly stilted. “About your mother.”And then the Valaoritis Lord scowled as the soldier spoke words he didn’t want to hear. Vices he called them. Releif was what Sil preferred. The notion of getting through the next however fucking long Tim intended to carry on with this charade for without his numbing agents of choice was miserable. Even if he could find the truth in the other’s words, he didn't feel ready to give up the comfort that wine and opium offered, didn't know how he'd get by without them.
“I don’t know” he grumbled. “Feels better than fucking dreams like that. Even if the next morning is grim when you get woken by some idiot throwing water over you” He said slyly, throwing a look at the soldier to ensure it wasn’t taken badly. If anyone should be pissed about that, it was him, he judged.
They had trudged through the darkened city streets, and as they walked Silanos could feel the lingering tension from the dream fade, leaving him feeling drained and exhausted. Wine sounded good like it might chase the chill from his bones. He’d been sweating when he woke, and now the cool night air had made it clammy and cold on his skin. He was glad when Daxos led them to a small house, stepping past the man into the building and trying not to gawp at how humble it was. He obviously failed, and looked guiltily across at the man when he drew attention to the fact, shrugging and rubbing at the back of his neck, “I’ve seen worse” he said, which was a lie, but seemed like something to take the sting out of his apparent distaste, and the lord cast himself carelessly onto one of the chairs, looking on as Daxos struck a fire and then accepting the cup of wine eagerly.
“ I don’t care,” he said wryly, lifting it to his lips and taking a large gulp. Daxos wasn’t wrong, the liquid edging towards sour, but Silanos wasn’t lying either, and he drank it down almost as fast as the other man, only lowering his cup when the other man spoke. He looked on, the faintest frown gathering between his brow because of all things, he had not expected such sentiments from the man before him.
Part of him - ridiculously - wanted to defend his brother, because Sil knew he’d fucked up pretty bad. Timaeus had run out of ideas...he couldn’t blame him really. He kept his mouth shut though, reached to refill his cup and gave a slight snort of laughter when a more honest account of Daxos’ opinion was aired. And then the lord was frowning again, staring into the wine he held as he considered the man’s words. He wasn’t sure he trusted the soldier - what if he’d been put up to this by Maleos or even by Tim. What if it was just something to be used against him later? “ I don’t want your pity” he found himself saying. “I’m not looking for a shoulder to cry on, and if I were, I’d want a prettier one than you, Daxos. Talking isn't going to change anything, is it? I just need to endure this fucking training and then I can get on with my life the way I want to”
Tim would come around...he had to. Sil couldn't stomach the idea of him not. But he seemed to realise his words might have come off unappreciative, so he went on. “ Thanks though..for this” he lifted the cup a fraction. “ I….its not always easy settling down again after the dreams. I prefer not sleeping. Or being too out of it to wake up even if I do dream, you know?”
He probably didn't know. Daxos was a soldier, and so lived a lifestyle about as far removed from Sil’s as the boy could imagine. His gaze flickered over the other man. “ Why’d you enlist anyway? Military family?”