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There was no other word for it. Their father and Farris both were away on business which left her in charge of everything. That was hardly a new situation, but she was only one person. There were limits to what she could do, especially with a 14,13 and 8 year old to look after. Most days, she simply made do, but today had been a day of new inventory which demanded far more attention than she could split amongst her three siblings.
The shipment had come just before day’s end, sent ahead by their brother. She had warned Thyra she would need her assistance. She rarely ever asked anything of the oldest of her little sisters. Thyra had always been a wild child and that had only worsened since their mother’s death. She had never respected her elder sister, yet the instant Farris or their father was present, she was a model child. It was infuriating beyond belief.
She was willing to accept her sister’s nature. It was the blatant intentional defiance that bothered her so much.
Such as her sister sneaking out of the house before Myrrine could speak to her that morning. As such, she’d had to take all the children to the shop with her and try to divvy her attention between inventory, actually tending the shop and tending to 3 very different children. Clio and Leila were old enough to help, but not enough so to be entirely trusted on their own. She might have trusted them to watch Calantha, but she had a habit of staying attached to Myrrine if she was in her proximity.
Her patience had been dangerously close to fraying by the time they had arrived home and was altogether gone by the time everyone else was asleep and her wayward sister still gone. The sixteen year old was too headstrong for her own good, and truthfully, Myrrine tried not to think too much on how she spent her numerous hours out. Gods only knew the sort of trouble that girl got into.
Anymore, so long as she didn’t bring it back to the house or drag the others into it, she tried not worry about it. After all, Thyra had made it clear she didn’t give a damn what her elder sister thought about anything.
So now she simply sat, staring at the door, fingers tapping restlessly on the table as she waited for her sister to arrive her, stewing in her anger and exhaustion even as she tried to mentally prepare herself for the fight that was sure to come. She grew weary just thinking of it. Myrrine hated that things were always this way between them, yet Thyra seemed set upon it. It seemed like no matter how much freedom she offered, how nicely she requested or even how harshly she scolded. Nothing worked. Her sister was determined to hate her and she didn’t have the slightest idea why.
But her life had stopped being about what she wanted all those years ago when she became responsible for the lives of her siblings and their household. Unpleasant and dreaded as it may be, words needed to be had between the two sister.
For once, Thyra was going to listen.
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Myrrine was fuming.
There was no other word for it. Their father and Farris both were away on business which left her in charge of everything. That was hardly a new situation, but she was only one person. There were limits to what she could do, especially with a 14,13 and 8 year old to look after. Most days, she simply made do, but today had been a day of new inventory which demanded far more attention than she could split amongst her three siblings.
The shipment had come just before day’s end, sent ahead by their brother. She had warned Thyra she would need her assistance. She rarely ever asked anything of the oldest of her little sisters. Thyra had always been a wild child and that had only worsened since their mother’s death. She had never respected her elder sister, yet the instant Farris or their father was present, she was a model child. It was infuriating beyond belief.
She was willing to accept her sister’s nature. It was the blatant intentional defiance that bothered her so much.
Such as her sister sneaking out of the house before Myrrine could speak to her that morning. As such, she’d had to take all the children to the shop with her and try to divvy her attention between inventory, actually tending the shop and tending to 3 very different children. Clio and Leila were old enough to help, but not enough so to be entirely trusted on their own. She might have trusted them to watch Calantha, but she had a habit of staying attached to Myrrine if she was in her proximity.
Her patience had been dangerously close to fraying by the time they had arrived home and was altogether gone by the time everyone else was asleep and her wayward sister still gone. The sixteen year old was too headstrong for her own good, and truthfully, Myrrine tried not to think too much on how she spent her numerous hours out. Gods only knew the sort of trouble that girl got into.
Anymore, so long as she didn’t bring it back to the house or drag the others into it, she tried not worry about it. After all, Thyra had made it clear she didn’t give a damn what her elder sister thought about anything.
So now she simply sat, staring at the door, fingers tapping restlessly on the table as she waited for her sister to arrive her, stewing in her anger and exhaustion even as she tried to mentally prepare herself for the fight that was sure to come. She grew weary just thinking of it. Myrrine hated that things were always this way between them, yet Thyra seemed set upon it. It seemed like no matter how much freedom she offered, how nicely she requested or even how harshly she scolded. Nothing worked. Her sister was determined to hate her and she didn’t have the slightest idea why.
But her life had stopped being about what she wanted all those years ago when she became responsible for the lives of her siblings and their household. Unpleasant and dreaded as it may be, words needed to be had between the two sister.
For once, Thyra was going to listen.
Myrrine was fuming.
There was no other word for it. Their father and Farris both were away on business which left her in charge of everything. That was hardly a new situation, but she was only one person. There were limits to what she could do, especially with a 14,13 and 8 year old to look after. Most days, she simply made do, but today had been a day of new inventory which demanded far more attention than she could split amongst her three siblings.
The shipment had come just before day’s end, sent ahead by their brother. She had warned Thyra she would need her assistance. She rarely ever asked anything of the oldest of her little sisters. Thyra had always been a wild child and that had only worsened since their mother’s death. She had never respected her elder sister, yet the instant Farris or their father was present, she was a model child. It was infuriating beyond belief.
She was willing to accept her sister’s nature. It was the blatant intentional defiance that bothered her so much.
Such as her sister sneaking out of the house before Myrrine could speak to her that morning. As such, she’d had to take all the children to the shop with her and try to divvy her attention between inventory, actually tending the shop and tending to 3 very different children. Clio and Leila were old enough to help, but not enough so to be entirely trusted on their own. She might have trusted them to watch Calantha, but she had a habit of staying attached to Myrrine if she was in her proximity.
Her patience had been dangerously close to fraying by the time they had arrived home and was altogether gone by the time everyone else was asleep and her wayward sister still gone. The sixteen year old was too headstrong for her own good, and truthfully, Myrrine tried not to think too much on how she spent her numerous hours out. Gods only knew the sort of trouble that girl got into.
Anymore, so long as she didn’t bring it back to the house or drag the others into it, she tried not worry about it. After all, Thyra had made it clear she didn’t give a damn what her elder sister thought about anything.
So now she simply sat, staring at the door, fingers tapping restlessly on the table as she waited for her sister to arrive her, stewing in her anger and exhaustion even as she tried to mentally prepare herself for the fight that was sure to come. She grew weary just thinking of it. Myrrine hated that things were always this way between them, yet Thyra seemed set upon it. It seemed like no matter how much freedom she offered, how nicely she requested or even how harshly she scolded. Nothing worked. Her sister was determined to hate her and she didn’t have the slightest idea why.
But her life had stopped being about what she wanted all those years ago when she became responsible for the lives of her siblings and their household. Unpleasant and dreaded as it may be, words needed to be had between the two sister.
For once, Thyra was going to listen.
The sun had woken Thyra early that day, dipping into her room and across her skin like warm gossamer, beckoning to her. Myrrine had asked for her help, but Thyra knew she could be back in time…
Except the demands of her sister had faded quickly from Thyra’s mind as she found herself next to a creek that bubbled happily for most of the day, cooling her toes in the water, her chiton pulled up around her knees. On her way back to town, a friend found her and promised frolicking fun.
In truth, Thyra had long since forgotten her sister’s request. She was caught up in the absolute joy of being young, talking philosophy and theories with others, dancing when the music pounded by drums into the ground beneath her feet, and even kissing the man watching her all night, after she’d made eyes at him for a time.
She was in a fantasy. It was a temporary interruption of the expectations laid upon her, an interruption she wanted to give permanence, if she could. Night had long since fallen as the 16 year old made her way home, carrying her sandals in one hand. It wasn’t until she pushed open the door to see her elder sister’s figure glaring at her from the table that Thyra recalled what she had promised...or been forced to promise.
“Aw, waiting up for me, Myrr? How thoughtful.” Oh, Thyra knew it was anything but, and her tone was saccharine sweet, the obvious sarcasm emphasized by the exaggerated tilt of her head. A roll of the eyes, even, as she started for the stairs.
It wasn’t a conversation worth having, whatever Myrrine thought she’d be able to drill into Thyra. It had long since been determined that they didn’t see eye-to-eye. A midnight chit chat wasn’t about to change eight years of disagreements.
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The sun had woken Thyra early that day, dipping into her room and across her skin like warm gossamer, beckoning to her. Myrrine had asked for her help, but Thyra knew she could be back in time…
Except the demands of her sister had faded quickly from Thyra’s mind as she found herself next to a creek that bubbled happily for most of the day, cooling her toes in the water, her chiton pulled up around her knees. On her way back to town, a friend found her and promised frolicking fun.
In truth, Thyra had long since forgotten her sister’s request. She was caught up in the absolute joy of being young, talking philosophy and theories with others, dancing when the music pounded by drums into the ground beneath her feet, and even kissing the man watching her all night, after she’d made eyes at him for a time.
She was in a fantasy. It was a temporary interruption of the expectations laid upon her, an interruption she wanted to give permanence, if she could. Night had long since fallen as the 16 year old made her way home, carrying her sandals in one hand. It wasn’t until she pushed open the door to see her elder sister’s figure glaring at her from the table that Thyra recalled what she had promised...or been forced to promise.
“Aw, waiting up for me, Myrr? How thoughtful.” Oh, Thyra knew it was anything but, and her tone was saccharine sweet, the obvious sarcasm emphasized by the exaggerated tilt of her head. A roll of the eyes, even, as she started for the stairs.
It wasn’t a conversation worth having, whatever Myrrine thought she’d be able to drill into Thyra. It had long since been determined that they didn’t see eye-to-eye. A midnight chit chat wasn’t about to change eight years of disagreements.
The sun had woken Thyra early that day, dipping into her room and across her skin like warm gossamer, beckoning to her. Myrrine had asked for her help, but Thyra knew she could be back in time…
Except the demands of her sister had faded quickly from Thyra’s mind as she found herself next to a creek that bubbled happily for most of the day, cooling her toes in the water, her chiton pulled up around her knees. On her way back to town, a friend found her and promised frolicking fun.
In truth, Thyra had long since forgotten her sister’s request. She was caught up in the absolute joy of being young, talking philosophy and theories with others, dancing when the music pounded by drums into the ground beneath her feet, and even kissing the man watching her all night, after she’d made eyes at him for a time.
She was in a fantasy. It was a temporary interruption of the expectations laid upon her, an interruption she wanted to give permanence, if she could. Night had long since fallen as the 16 year old made her way home, carrying her sandals in one hand. It wasn’t until she pushed open the door to see her elder sister’s figure glaring at her from the table that Thyra recalled what she had promised...or been forced to promise.
“Aw, waiting up for me, Myrr? How thoughtful.” Oh, Thyra knew it was anything but, and her tone was saccharine sweet, the obvious sarcasm emphasized by the exaggerated tilt of her head. A roll of the eyes, even, as she started for the stairs.
It wasn’t a conversation worth having, whatever Myrrine thought she’d be able to drill into Thyra. It had long since been determined that they didn’t see eye-to-eye. A midnight chit chat wasn’t about to change eight years of disagreements.
For perhaps half an instant, Myrrine was reconsidering her plan. Was it really fair to take her temper out on her sister? Even if she had let her down, it was only fair to hear her side of things right? To give her the benefit of the doubt? Maybe if they could just have a conversation for once instead of arguing.
And then Thyra arrived and opened her damn mouth.
Any thoughts of mercy were gone in that instant. “Thoughtful?” she said, her voice with a hard edge to it. “Why yes, you have been in my thoughts today. Quite a lot actually.” As she spoke, she stood, putting herself directly between her troublesome sister and the stairs. She would not allow her to walk away from this. Not this time.
“I’ve let so many things slide with you over the years, Thyra. I tried to give you room to grieve and adjust and grow. I have held my tongue when you throw everything I do for all of you in my face. I have ignored hundreds of rude remarks. I haven’t said anything against you as you pretend to be innocent and obedient in front of Farris and Father. I have spent the last eight years with you fighting me tooth and nail no matter what choice I make. I gave up wondering just why it is that you suddenly decided things weren’t hard enough without you suddenly hating me on top of it all.”
Her words began quiet but firm, gradually increasing in volume and severity. She stopped just shy of shouting, afraid of waking the sleeping children upstairs.
“I have asked you for nothing in over a year now. I have let you come and go as you please without comment. I haven’t once asked how you pass your hours, even when you return home long past decent hours of the night. Yet the one time that I ask something of you, you avoid it without even the common courtesy of an explanation?”
Her face was turning red with both the effort to restrain herself from further raising her voice and the anger that she was finally allowing to flow through her freely.
“How dare you, Thyra. Even if you are determined to hate me, how can you be so selfish as to not even care about any of the others? Does this entire family mean nothing to you?”
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For perhaps half an instant, Myrrine was reconsidering her plan. Was it really fair to take her temper out on her sister? Even if she had let her down, it was only fair to hear her side of things right? To give her the benefit of the doubt? Maybe if they could just have a conversation for once instead of arguing.
And then Thyra arrived and opened her damn mouth.
Any thoughts of mercy were gone in that instant. “Thoughtful?” she said, her voice with a hard edge to it. “Why yes, you have been in my thoughts today. Quite a lot actually.” As she spoke, she stood, putting herself directly between her troublesome sister and the stairs. She would not allow her to walk away from this. Not this time.
“I’ve let so many things slide with you over the years, Thyra. I tried to give you room to grieve and adjust and grow. I have held my tongue when you throw everything I do for all of you in my face. I have ignored hundreds of rude remarks. I haven’t said anything against you as you pretend to be innocent and obedient in front of Farris and Father. I have spent the last eight years with you fighting me tooth and nail no matter what choice I make. I gave up wondering just why it is that you suddenly decided things weren’t hard enough without you suddenly hating me on top of it all.”
Her words began quiet but firm, gradually increasing in volume and severity. She stopped just shy of shouting, afraid of waking the sleeping children upstairs.
“I have asked you for nothing in over a year now. I have let you come and go as you please without comment. I haven’t once asked how you pass your hours, even when you return home long past decent hours of the night. Yet the one time that I ask something of you, you avoid it without even the common courtesy of an explanation?”
Her face was turning red with both the effort to restrain herself from further raising her voice and the anger that she was finally allowing to flow through her freely.
“How dare you, Thyra. Even if you are determined to hate me, how can you be so selfish as to not even care about any of the others? Does this entire family mean nothing to you?”
For perhaps half an instant, Myrrine was reconsidering her plan. Was it really fair to take her temper out on her sister? Even if she had let her down, it was only fair to hear her side of things right? To give her the benefit of the doubt? Maybe if they could just have a conversation for once instead of arguing.
And then Thyra arrived and opened her damn mouth.
Any thoughts of mercy were gone in that instant. “Thoughtful?” she said, her voice with a hard edge to it. “Why yes, you have been in my thoughts today. Quite a lot actually.” As she spoke, she stood, putting herself directly between her troublesome sister and the stairs. She would not allow her to walk away from this. Not this time.
“I’ve let so many things slide with you over the years, Thyra. I tried to give you room to grieve and adjust and grow. I have held my tongue when you throw everything I do for all of you in my face. I have ignored hundreds of rude remarks. I haven’t said anything against you as you pretend to be innocent and obedient in front of Farris and Father. I have spent the last eight years with you fighting me tooth and nail no matter what choice I make. I gave up wondering just why it is that you suddenly decided things weren’t hard enough without you suddenly hating me on top of it all.”
Her words began quiet but firm, gradually increasing in volume and severity. She stopped just shy of shouting, afraid of waking the sleeping children upstairs.
“I have asked you for nothing in over a year now. I have let you come and go as you please without comment. I haven’t once asked how you pass your hours, even when you return home long past decent hours of the night. Yet the one time that I ask something of you, you avoid it without even the common courtesy of an explanation?”
Her face was turning red with both the effort to restrain herself from further raising her voice and the anger that she was finally allowing to flow through her freely.
“How dare you, Thyra. Even if you are determined to hate me, how can you be so selfish as to not even care about any of the others? Does this entire family mean nothing to you?”
When Myrrine placed herself between Thyra and the stairs, Thyra’s eyes darkened. She leaned back on her heels, crossing her arms across her chest. Her jaw was set. It was very clear that, if Myrrine thought pulling the mom card would work, she was sorely mistaken. Thyra could be cutting, and with every word out of her sister’s mouth, dripping in disdain, any words that might be softened by an apology slipped away.
She. Was. Done.
A million memories passed behind Thyra’s eyes. A million moments in which Thyra tried. Every effort had gone unnoticed, and so Thyra had stopped trying. She was the forgotten sister, the forgotten daughter - at least until someone needed something.
Raising a brow, Thyra tipped her head at Myrrine. “Are you done?” she asked archly.
They were already in close quarters, but Thyra dared to step closer, just a touch, to make it very clear her meaning. “I owe you nothing.” Fists now at her sides, she circled Myrrine slowly. “You have tried time and again to make me into something you want me to be, without any consideration whatsoever for what I might want. If you want to be a mother to your siblings, go ahead. But I already had a mother. I don’t need you to try and imitate her.”
Thyra stopped, leaning against the wall casually. “For them? You’re doing a splendid job.”
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When Myrrine placed herself between Thyra and the stairs, Thyra’s eyes darkened. She leaned back on her heels, crossing her arms across her chest. Her jaw was set. It was very clear that, if Myrrine thought pulling the mom card would work, she was sorely mistaken. Thyra could be cutting, and with every word out of her sister’s mouth, dripping in disdain, any words that might be softened by an apology slipped away.
She. Was. Done.
A million memories passed behind Thyra’s eyes. A million moments in which Thyra tried. Every effort had gone unnoticed, and so Thyra had stopped trying. She was the forgotten sister, the forgotten daughter - at least until someone needed something.
Raising a brow, Thyra tipped her head at Myrrine. “Are you done?” she asked archly.
They were already in close quarters, but Thyra dared to step closer, just a touch, to make it very clear her meaning. “I owe you nothing.” Fists now at her sides, she circled Myrrine slowly. “You have tried time and again to make me into something you want me to be, without any consideration whatsoever for what I might want. If you want to be a mother to your siblings, go ahead. But I already had a mother. I don’t need you to try and imitate her.”
Thyra stopped, leaning against the wall casually. “For them? You’re doing a splendid job.”
When Myrrine placed herself between Thyra and the stairs, Thyra’s eyes darkened. She leaned back on her heels, crossing her arms across her chest. Her jaw was set. It was very clear that, if Myrrine thought pulling the mom card would work, she was sorely mistaken. Thyra could be cutting, and with every word out of her sister’s mouth, dripping in disdain, any words that might be softened by an apology slipped away.
She. Was. Done.
A million memories passed behind Thyra’s eyes. A million moments in which Thyra tried. Every effort had gone unnoticed, and so Thyra had stopped trying. She was the forgotten sister, the forgotten daughter - at least until someone needed something.
Raising a brow, Thyra tipped her head at Myrrine. “Are you done?” she asked archly.
They were already in close quarters, but Thyra dared to step closer, just a touch, to make it very clear her meaning. “I owe you nothing.” Fists now at her sides, she circled Myrrine slowly. “You have tried time and again to make me into something you want me to be, without any consideration whatsoever for what I might want. If you want to be a mother to your siblings, go ahead. But I already had a mother. I don’t need you to try and imitate her.”
Thyra stopped, leaning against the wall casually. “For them? You’re doing a splendid job.”
This was what drove her crazy about Thyra. Her solution was always to run, to avoid reality. If she escaped to her room, she could pretend she had done nothing wrong. If she ran to the woods or stayed out until all hours of the night, she could escape any responsibility she had to her family. It was enough to drive Myrrine made with fury.
There had been a time when they were all carefree children, and Thyra had been an adorable baby sister. But their mother’s death had changed everything and somehow, that day had slain any sort of fond relationship that existed between the two sisters. Since then she had tried countless times to include Thyra, to bond with her, to ask her for help. Yet every time, her sister insisted on throwing a list of insults and grievances in her face.
She didn’t know when her sister had begun to hate her, but she faced that reality every day, no matter how much it pained her. No matter how exhausted her never-ending list of duties left her. Her family was the one solace she had in life, and Thyra had made clear she had no desire to be a part of that. Worst of all, Myrrine couldn’t understand why.
Myrrine didn’t so much as blink as Thyra pressed closer. The two were close in height, though Myrrine was still a hint taller. She watched her with careful eyes, waiting to see just what it was that her sister would choose to hurl at her this time. Somehow, as always, her words left her elder sister entirely stunned. When she spoke, her voice though perilously quiet was filled with more emotion than she had allowed herself to feel in years.
“You think I wanted this?” she hissed, eyes narrowed as she stared in disbelief. “What would you have me do, Thyra? Should I just have done whatever I pleased? Left the shop, the house, our siblings be abandoned and neglected by a man who has been a shell of a father since that day when we all lost mother? Should I have let Calantha scream until she starved? Should I have left Leila and Clio to figure out how to get by on their own when they were mere children?”
Her entire body was trembling now, and not just with anger. There was grief, so much grief for her mother, the family of her childhood, for all that her siblings had gone without, and for the life she would never be able to live. The family of her own she would never have, the love she would never know, the many joys of life that had been promised to her. The chance to see a world beyond her own home. It had all been blown away that day.
“I’m not doing this because I find it fun, Thyra. I’ve done it because I had no choice. Because there was no one else to do it. Should I have allowed us to end up destitute and on the streets? Should I have run off to follow my own dreams and just left you all to rot? Tell me, what was my greatest sin in your eyes? Caring about the fate of all of you? Caring that you were taken care of and provided for? That you had not only food but love in your life? That I gave up everything so that you all would have every option available for you?”
She hated to voice these thoughts aloud. She never wanted her siblings to think themselves a burden, but she had run out of options with Thyra. She had tried everything she could think to get through to the middle sister, but it got them nowhere.
“You think I don’t miss her? You think that I don’t wish every damn day that the little ones could remember her? That Calantha could have known her? That they could have grown up as we did, with two loving parents? You think I don’t know that I’m a poor substitute? That I don’t wish I had had my own mother’s guidance for long enough to know what I’m doing? That I don’t spend every day just barely getting by trying to do the work of three people all on my own? That I haven’t done everything I can to shield you all from the pressures and responsibilities of all of it?”
She sounded close to tears even as her exhaustion swept over her. “I’m only one person Thyra. I try to do it all on my own, but even I have limits. I didn’t think asking for help from my sister was so great a crime. Apparently I was wrong.”
Myrrine turned her back, moving towards the table to take a seat.
“You’ve made yourself clear. I won’t make the mistake of counting on you again.”
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This was what drove her crazy about Thyra. Her solution was always to run, to avoid reality. If she escaped to her room, she could pretend she had done nothing wrong. If she ran to the woods or stayed out until all hours of the night, she could escape any responsibility she had to her family. It was enough to drive Myrrine made with fury.
There had been a time when they were all carefree children, and Thyra had been an adorable baby sister. But their mother’s death had changed everything and somehow, that day had slain any sort of fond relationship that existed between the two sisters. Since then she had tried countless times to include Thyra, to bond with her, to ask her for help. Yet every time, her sister insisted on throwing a list of insults and grievances in her face.
She didn’t know when her sister had begun to hate her, but she faced that reality every day, no matter how much it pained her. No matter how exhausted her never-ending list of duties left her. Her family was the one solace she had in life, and Thyra had made clear she had no desire to be a part of that. Worst of all, Myrrine couldn’t understand why.
Myrrine didn’t so much as blink as Thyra pressed closer. The two were close in height, though Myrrine was still a hint taller. She watched her with careful eyes, waiting to see just what it was that her sister would choose to hurl at her this time. Somehow, as always, her words left her elder sister entirely stunned. When she spoke, her voice though perilously quiet was filled with more emotion than she had allowed herself to feel in years.
“You think I wanted this?” she hissed, eyes narrowed as she stared in disbelief. “What would you have me do, Thyra? Should I just have done whatever I pleased? Left the shop, the house, our siblings be abandoned and neglected by a man who has been a shell of a father since that day when we all lost mother? Should I have let Calantha scream until she starved? Should I have left Leila and Clio to figure out how to get by on their own when they were mere children?”
Her entire body was trembling now, and not just with anger. There was grief, so much grief for her mother, the family of her childhood, for all that her siblings had gone without, and for the life she would never be able to live. The family of her own she would never have, the love she would never know, the many joys of life that had been promised to her. The chance to see a world beyond her own home. It had all been blown away that day.
“I’m not doing this because I find it fun, Thyra. I’ve done it because I had no choice. Because there was no one else to do it. Should I have allowed us to end up destitute and on the streets? Should I have run off to follow my own dreams and just left you all to rot? Tell me, what was my greatest sin in your eyes? Caring about the fate of all of you? Caring that you were taken care of and provided for? That you had not only food but love in your life? That I gave up everything so that you all would have every option available for you?”
She hated to voice these thoughts aloud. She never wanted her siblings to think themselves a burden, but she had run out of options with Thyra. She had tried everything she could think to get through to the middle sister, but it got them nowhere.
“You think I don’t miss her? You think that I don’t wish every damn day that the little ones could remember her? That Calantha could have known her? That they could have grown up as we did, with two loving parents? You think I don’t know that I’m a poor substitute? That I don’t wish I had had my own mother’s guidance for long enough to know what I’m doing? That I don’t spend every day just barely getting by trying to do the work of three people all on my own? That I haven’t done everything I can to shield you all from the pressures and responsibilities of all of it?”
She sounded close to tears even as her exhaustion swept over her. “I’m only one person Thyra. I try to do it all on my own, but even I have limits. I didn’t think asking for help from my sister was so great a crime. Apparently I was wrong.”
Myrrine turned her back, moving towards the table to take a seat.
“You’ve made yourself clear. I won’t make the mistake of counting on you again.”
This was what drove her crazy about Thyra. Her solution was always to run, to avoid reality. If she escaped to her room, she could pretend she had done nothing wrong. If she ran to the woods or stayed out until all hours of the night, she could escape any responsibility she had to her family. It was enough to drive Myrrine made with fury.
There had been a time when they were all carefree children, and Thyra had been an adorable baby sister. But their mother’s death had changed everything and somehow, that day had slain any sort of fond relationship that existed between the two sisters. Since then she had tried countless times to include Thyra, to bond with her, to ask her for help. Yet every time, her sister insisted on throwing a list of insults and grievances in her face.
She didn’t know when her sister had begun to hate her, but she faced that reality every day, no matter how much it pained her. No matter how exhausted her never-ending list of duties left her. Her family was the one solace she had in life, and Thyra had made clear she had no desire to be a part of that. Worst of all, Myrrine couldn’t understand why.
Myrrine didn’t so much as blink as Thyra pressed closer. The two were close in height, though Myrrine was still a hint taller. She watched her with careful eyes, waiting to see just what it was that her sister would choose to hurl at her this time. Somehow, as always, her words left her elder sister entirely stunned. When she spoke, her voice though perilously quiet was filled with more emotion than she had allowed herself to feel in years.
“You think I wanted this?” she hissed, eyes narrowed as she stared in disbelief. “What would you have me do, Thyra? Should I just have done whatever I pleased? Left the shop, the house, our siblings be abandoned and neglected by a man who has been a shell of a father since that day when we all lost mother? Should I have let Calantha scream until she starved? Should I have left Leila and Clio to figure out how to get by on their own when they were mere children?”
Her entire body was trembling now, and not just with anger. There was grief, so much grief for her mother, the family of her childhood, for all that her siblings had gone without, and for the life she would never be able to live. The family of her own she would never have, the love she would never know, the many joys of life that had been promised to her. The chance to see a world beyond her own home. It had all been blown away that day.
“I’m not doing this because I find it fun, Thyra. I’ve done it because I had no choice. Because there was no one else to do it. Should I have allowed us to end up destitute and on the streets? Should I have run off to follow my own dreams and just left you all to rot? Tell me, what was my greatest sin in your eyes? Caring about the fate of all of you? Caring that you were taken care of and provided for? That you had not only food but love in your life? That I gave up everything so that you all would have every option available for you?”
She hated to voice these thoughts aloud. She never wanted her siblings to think themselves a burden, but she had run out of options with Thyra. She had tried everything she could think to get through to the middle sister, but it got them nowhere.
“You think I don’t miss her? You think that I don’t wish every damn day that the little ones could remember her? That Calantha could have known her? That they could have grown up as we did, with two loving parents? You think I don’t know that I’m a poor substitute? That I don’t wish I had had my own mother’s guidance for long enough to know what I’m doing? That I don’t spend every day just barely getting by trying to do the work of three people all on my own? That I haven’t done everything I can to shield you all from the pressures and responsibilities of all of it?”
She sounded close to tears even as her exhaustion swept over her. “I’m only one person Thyra. I try to do it all on my own, but even I have limits. I didn’t think asking for help from my sister was so great a crime. Apparently I was wrong.”
Myrrine turned her back, moving towards the table to take a seat.
“You’ve made yourself clear. I won’t make the mistake of counting on you again.”