S,
I did not come to the docks the morning you set sail. I had planned to go, but then I received your gift. And I got very, very upset and I blame you. I have so many things to say to you. Most of them make me angry.
I am angry about the gift - it is far too intimate, but so beautiful.
I am angry about how much this gift means to me now, especially when it should not.
I am angry about how we parted ways the last time I saw you.
I am angry that we both talked about what this is but at the same time, we didn’t.
I am angry over the way you continue to speak ill of 'him' no matter how many times I ask you not to.
I am angry that for some reason it has made me quite torn when I wasn’t before.
I am angry about how I cannot look up at the night sky without thinking of you.
I am angry about how much I miss you already.
I am angry about how much I realize I care about you too.
And I am angry about how the gods cursed me to cry when I am angry.
The problem is quite simple: I cannot care for you AND him this way. The solution is less so - because I cannot stop caring for you both this way. And now you are gone and I did not get to say goodbye and wish you well.
I hope this letter finds you and I hope you have a great laugh over the fact that I cried like a girl.
Please write to me and stay safe.
Do not do anything stupid like get yourself killed.
It will make me angry.
Sincerely,
L
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